Jewish World Review Feb. 22, 2008 / 16 Adar I 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The New York Times reported Wednesday that John McCain's aides believed he was having an affair with a young female lobbyist eight years ago. The flurry will die down soon. Hillary Clinton just agreed to go on CBS' 60 Minutes Sunday and forgive him.
Cuba's new leader Raul Castro showed a willingness to work with U.S. authorities after taking over Tuesday. He offered to return any U.S. terror suspects who escape over the fence at Guantanamo. It only adds to Cuba's long list of human rights abuses.
Roger Clemens canceled a public appearance at Disney Hollywood Studios this week. It might have caused a ruckus. There's a cantaloupe on display at the entrance gate next to a sign telling visitors their heads must be this small to go inside.
Saturday Night Live auditioned comedians Tuesday to find the one who does the funniest Barack Obama impression for the show's sketches. Finding a comedian to impersonate Hillary was simple. Playing a corpse is everybody's first acting job in show business.
Steven Spielberg quit as adviser to the Olympics opening ceremony. He wants China to change their Darfur policy and they won't do it. The last time anyone said no to Steven Spielberg he warned his kindergarten teacher she'd never work in show business again.
The Los Angeles Dodgers and San Diego Padres announced Wednesday they'll play a series of exhibition games against each other in China in two weeks. They love baseball in China. One stadium has a left-field wall that is four thousand miles long.
The New York Times listed Major League ballplayers Wednesday who are involved in cockfighting in the Dominican Republic. It's a natural combination. The birds are all on steroids, so of course the cocks are a little smaller than you would expect.
Hillary Clinton's campaign manager said Wednesday she will make a much better commander-in-chief than her rivals. She's well schooled in the use of force. How many presidential candidates can honestly say that they have thrown a lamp at an important world leader?
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton