Jewish World Review Feb. 13, 2008 / 7 Adar I 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is held at Madison Square Garden this week. It draws a nice cable audience. The networks were about to buy the show and train the dogs to attack supermodels when news came from L.A. that the writers' strike has been settled.
Britney Spears checked out of the UCLA psychiatric ward Wednesday and then she was escorted by a convoy of security vans and motorcycle cops to the Beverly Hills Hotel. It's right down the street from the children's zoo. Last week four kids escaped.
Barack Obama seized the momentum with four primary victories last weekend. His supporters may be inspired by coverage of Black History Month. Hillary Clinton just promised President Bush a full pardon if he'll declare March to be Wronged Woman Month.
Barack Obama upset Hillary Clinton in four primaries last weekend. It was voter greed, pure and simple. Bill Clinton's made so much money since he cheated on Hillary that all the Democrats have decided to see another candidate behind her back.
Barack Obama won a Grammy for the Best Spoken Word Album for the audio version of his book at the Grammy Awards in Los Angeles Sunday. Everybody likes the guy. Barack Obama's so popular that even the Ku Klux Klan just offered him half-membership.
The New York Yankees began funding a training camp in China Sunday to expand baseball to the world's largest nation. People in China meet the first test of what it takes to be baseball fans. They're not fussy at all about what goes into a hot dog.
Great Britain asked its Olympic athletes to sign a contract barring them from criticizing China's government while they're in Beijing for the Olympics. If they don't sign, they won't be allowed to go. No one had any idea Wal-Mart was that big in Great Britain.
Bill Clinton said Sunday he totally understands why black folks are voting for Barack Obama. He said they've been voting for whites for years and now they've got Obama and they're proud. If he were any more patronizing he'd be carrying barefoot children through the mud and asking TV viewers to sponsor them for thirty cents a day.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton