Jewish World Review Feb. 12, 2008 / 6 Adar I 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
NBC News anchor David Shuster was suspended Friday for saying Bill and Hillary Clinton were pimping out Chelsea to win votes. The girl's just doing her best. What are you supposed to do with a degree from Stanford and Oxford in today's economy?
Brian McNamee told Congress Friday he injected Roger Clemens's wife with Human Growth Hormone as well as Roger Clemens with steroids. This investigation is far from over. Their family dog is a St. Bernard but when they bought it, it was a Maltese.
Britney Spears's father was allowed by a Los Angeles court Friday to fire her manager Sam Lufti. Court papers say his real name is Osama. He shortened it to Sam when he got a call from Osama bin Laden complaining that he was ruining his good name.
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Friday set aside nine million acres in four Western states as critical habitat for the Mexican spotted owl. No one really thinks the owls are endangered. For every one you deport, three more fly over the fence.
Hillary Clinton was endorsed by the American Nurses Association in Tacoma last week. Her family has deep ties with that union. The moment Bill Clinton woke up in the recovery room after his heart surgery four years ago he took a turn for the nurse.
New York prosecutors said Saturday NASCAR's new racetrack on Staten Island was built by a construction company owned by Mafia members. They're big race fans. Al Capone always kept a body in the trunk to help him hold the road during hairpin turns.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton