Jewish World Review Feb. 8, 2008 / 2 Adar I 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi died Tuesday after a lifetime of teaching meditation to the masses. He believed if enough people meditate and achieve inner peace it will bring bliss to the world. Bobby Knight's taking over for him but it won't be the same.
The New York Giants were given a ticker tape parade down Broadway Tuesday for winning the Super Bowl. Their defensive line won the game for them. Tom Brady spent more time on his back than Paris Hilton at an NBA All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas.
Roger Clemens' trainer Brian McNamee revealed Wednesday he kept the syringes and gauze pads he used to inject Clemens with steroids. He's no fool. If there's one thing Monica Lewinsky taught everyone it's that if you do anything between the waist and knees to a famous guy, you should keep the DNA evidence in case you need it.
Britney Spears was taken home in a convoy of SUVs from UCLA Hospital Wednesday afternoon, followed all the way by news helicopters. It confirmed what doctors said about her. You have to be nuts to take the San Diego Freeway at four in the afternoon.
Robert Culp demanded Monday that the Los Angeles Zoo shut down its elephant exhibit because it's too cramped. They represent this town. You can spend all day feeding peanuts to the elephants at the L.A. Zoo and they'll leave you for the guy with cashews.
Hillary Clinton admitted Wednesday she had to loan her campaign five million dollars of her own money to make up for a sudden fundraising shortfall. The public lapped it up. Hillary hasn't even been elected yet and already the Clintons are leaping from ice floe to ice floe as the river current takes them toward Niagara Falls.
Saudi Arabia arrested a U.S businesswoman Tuesday for sitting at a Starbucks in Riyadh with a man. It's terrible. She was strip-searched, threatened, bruised and forced to sign a false confession, and that was after they turned her over to the CIA.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton