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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
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February 8, 2012
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The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
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Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
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Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
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January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
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Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
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Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
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Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
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Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
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Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Feb. 20, 2008
/ 14 Adar I 5768
An overdose of reality
By
Malcolm Fleschner
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Recently, reports began circulating that the Hollywood writers strike may end soon. This can only be viewed as good news for those of us who are tired of tuning in to our favorite shows only to see, for example, an hour of the cast of "Lost" aimlessly sitting around on the beach, poking sticks in the sand and occasionally opening their mouths to speak but with no words coming out.
It's no better over on Fox, where for three months agent Jack Bauer has been powerless to stop the dozens of terrorist acts committed on American soil every hour. Unable to set up a single perimeter, download any schematics to his cell phone or even bark "There's no time!" to a spineless superior, Bauer has been anxiously pacing in his office for 12 straight hours, breaking the silence only sporadically by looking directly into the camera and shouting, "Dammit!"
Another unfortunate consequence of the writers strike has been broadcasters' increased reliance on "reality" programs. When these shows first gained popularity, many viewers hoped that the phenomenon would soon fade, much like previous television fads, including:
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Sitcoms about hayseeds ("Beverly Hillbillies," "Green Acres," "Petticoat Junction")
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Shows with superintelligent animals that could communicate with humans ("Lassie," "Mr. Ed," "Flipper")
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Shows featuring women with supernatural powers ("Bewitched," "I Dream of Jeannie")
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Attempts to boost long-running shows' ratings by introducing a new baby ("Family Ties"), adopted cousin ("Brady Bunch") or wayward orphan portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio ("Growing Pains" really!).
But instead of dying out, the reality TV genre has actually grown in strength, much like some sort of mutant creature fed by ambient broadcasting waves and viewer stupidity. Today's reality shows are even spawning sequels, spinoffs, spoofs, "all-star" seasons and reunion shows. Clearly, it's only a matter of time before the producers of "Survivor" announce they're spicing up the show by introducing a tribe with a baby contestant. Either that or a talking baboon.
The reality premise itself has evolved as well. Early installments tended to follow a similar formula: sequester a diverse group of ordinary citizens under the same roof or on a tropical island and see how they respond when they get into arguments, compete in unusual "challenges" and are forced to eat sheep testicles.
The next great reality show innovation was the introduction of celebrities. Or, more precisely, "celebrities." Most common nowadays are the shows featuring D-list stars who use a reality show to overcome specific life struggles, such as former teen idol Scott Baio and his commitment phobia, wrestler Hulk Hogan with his out-of-control family or newlyweds Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson navigating married life (how did that work out, anyway?). It appears that, when confronted with any major life crisis, today's celebrities have two options: either go on a reality show or into rehab.
But wait! That decision just got a whole lot easier, thanks to my new favorite entry into the reality television pantheon: "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew." If you enjoyed reality shows where famous people get wasted and then crash their cars, assault police officers and vomit all over themselves, just imagine how you'll enjoy watching the very same celebrities get sober and then go through withdrawal, assault their therapists and vomit all over themselves.
If the writers strike does drag on, the networks will likely continue demanding more of this type of programming. The problem, however, is that the nation's supply of has-been and drug-addicted celebrities is already beginning to dry up. Faced with such a crippling shortage, desperate producers will eventually turn to average Americans to star in such shows perhaps without even getting permission! In fact, since this process is probably already under way, I've decided to include the following as a public service:
Signs you may be unwittingly participating in a reality TV show:
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Someone with a camera follows you everywhere you go, and you're not a toddler.
- You frequently get through awkward, disgusting or painful activities by repeating to yourself, "Come on, you're doing this for a million bucks."
- Immediately following a confrontation with a co-worker, family member or neighbor, a headset-wearing stranger approaches, asking you to re-enact the altercation, "so we can get takes from different angles."
- People are constantly critiquing your talents as a singer, dancer, model, chef, fashion designer, business person or prospective mate for rapper Flavor Flav.
- You just got voted out of the house you own.
If you do suspect you've become a reality TV star, don't panic. For one thing, panicking is a ratings grabber, and will likely get you picked up for a second season. Just ride out the storm and soon your show will probably meet the same fate as most reality programs and fade into obscurity. Unless you do something foolish like have a baby, that is.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
Previously:
02/14/08: A developing situation
01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it
01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict
01/02/08: Our bills are due
12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice…
11/28/07: Out with the old
11/06/07: My latest pet project
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning
© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner
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