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Jewish World Review Feb. 27, 2008 / 21 Adar I 5768
Cash-rich Obama Buys Yahoo
By Andy Borowitz
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Outbids Microsoft for Internet Giant
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Flush with cash after a deluge of online donations, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill)
stunned the business world today by outbidding Microsoft for the Internet giant
Yahoo.
The purchase of Yahoo is believed to be the largest acquisition of a
multibillion-dollar company ever by a Democratic presidential candidate, industry
experts said.
A spokesman for Microsoft at the company's Redmond, Washington headquarters
acknowledged that the company was "disappointed" to lose Yahoo to Sen. Obama, but
added, "We can't really be mad at him, because we love him so."
The news of Sen. Obama's $48 billion offer for Yahoo sent a shudder through Sen.
Hillary Clinton (D-NY)'s campaign, which for the past six weeks has been subsisting
on Ramen noodles.
In his televised debate in Cleveland, Ohio with Sen. Clinton, Sen. Obama said that
he was able to purchase Yahoo because his campaign was reaping online donations
averaging $1.8 billion a day.
Mr. Obama also offered to "personally hire" 2 million Ohioans to do odd jobs around
his campaign headquarters.
"People say, can we really come up with enough errands for 2 million Ohioans to do?"
he said. "Yes we can."
Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick praised Sen. Obama's plan, telling reporters,
"His campaign is more than just words, he is offering people a real opportunity to
go on a Starbucks run."
Sen. Obama later added, "My campaign is more than just words, I am offering people a
real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run."
Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, leading
economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession.