Jewish World Review Feb. 26, 2007 / 8 Adar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Barack Obama was endorsed by movie stars and producers and directors Tuesday in Beverly Hills. He hopes it sticks. Barack Obama would feel a lot better about Hollywood's commitment to his candidacy if everyone would stop calling him Reverend.
The Academy Awards aired live from Hollywood Sunday night. Forest Whittaker was the favorite for Best Actor for his sympathetic portrayal of Idi Amin. Suddenly any actor who looks like Saddam Hussein can feel the wind at his back in Hollywood.
Phoenix Airport began using scanners Friday that see right through clothes and show your naked body on-screen. This could replace American Idol. Today you're just another bedraggled passenger, but tomorrow you could be the biggest star on YouTube.
ABC said Friday it will create a spin-off of Grey's Anatomy centered around Addison Shepherd. It was fueled by massive demand. Ever since the public got fascinated by the battle over Anna Nicole Smith's remains, grey anatomy has become all the rage.
The NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas gave TNT its first ratings victory of the year last Sunday. Related programming also did well. Headline News finished second with its coverage of the strippers and hookers and shootings outside the basketball game.
The United States convinced North Korea last week to turn over their nuclear weapons facility in exchange for a million tons of oil. It's not easy being the world's only superpower. Now we have to ask the Iranians for a million tons of oil.
Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack dropped out of the presidential race Friday, citing money troubles. He called for public funding of campaigns. It's an article of faith among Democrats that everyone's unbridled ambitions should be paid for by someone else.
NASA revealed its contingency plan Friday to deal with astronauts who crack up in space. Other astronauts are supposed to tie them down with duct tape and then inject them with Valium. By coincidence, that's also the president's plan to get Congress behind the Iran attack.
New York's health department shut down a Taco Bell Friday after it was overrun by rats. Cameras caught the rodents scampering across the floor, hunting for food. The plan was to keep the restaurant locked until they died from eating green onions.
Donald Trump filed paperwork Thursday to build a mausoleum for himself. This is fair warning for heaven. If Donald Trump lives to be a hundred, St. Peter has just forty years to lobby to keep his job as the guy who says who stays and who goes.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton