Jewish World Review Feb. 22, 2007 / 4 Adar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Britney Spears shaved her head totally bald Saturday. The next day she partied all night with two strippers and a bouncer. A week from now her relatives will be in court arguing whether her career should be buried in Texas or in the Bahamas.
Florida educators were outraged when a high school teacher posed for Playboy this month. Last month a Florida schoolteacher accepted bribes to allow students to skip class. They're just trying to teach the kids how our political system works.
US Airways chief executive Doug Parker pleaded guilty to drunk driving. His pilots are always getting busted for alcohol use. Now you know why passengers never complain whenever their US Airways jet gets stuck on the runway for nine hours.
Al Gore announced Friday that he'll hold a rock concert in July to promote global warming awareness. These rock shows can really help make a difference. They saved so many farmers with these summer concerts that their livestock now cause global warming.
Sen. Barack Obama enjoyed a huge fundraiser in Beverly Hills Tuesday. The biggest producers and directors and stars attended the dinner and party. They knew they were cheating on Hillary, but history shows it takes her ten years to figure it out.
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il reviewed a huge parade from atop a high platform Friday in honor of his sixty-fifth birthday. The honors are just beginning to pour in. Everyone agrees he's a shoo-in to win the Academy Award for Best Animated Short.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton