Jewish World Review Feb. 20, 2007 / 2 Adar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Bush told reporters on Wednesday the North Korean nuclear agreement was a triumph in diplomacy. No one in Israel was surprised. They have known for generations that any fight with no Arabs in it can eventually be solved peacefully.
Governor Mitt Romney announced in Detroit Tuesday that he is running for the presidency. It was exciting. For one day the number of presidential candidates equaled the number of people claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.
Human Rights First asked Fox Network on Tuesday to dial back the torture scenes in Fox shows. They're influencing U.S. soldiers. Last year ten terror suspects broke down and confessed after they were forced to sit through two hours of American Idol.
The Weather Channel reported a blizzard in Washington D.C. Wednesday that shut down airports. Some places were running dangerously low on supplies. It was so cold that the Senate waived the rule banning Ted Kennedy's St. Bernard from the floor.
White House drug czar John Walters said Tuesday teenagers are using less pot and more prescription drugs. He urged parents to lock the medicine cabinet. In addition to that, if you use Slim Fast and Methadone you should lock the refrigerator.
Al Franken announced on Wednesday he will run for U.S. Senate in Minnesota. He promised voters that he is a serious candidate. As evidence, he produced sworn statements from a dozen other comedians saying he hasn't been funny for twenty years.
The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show chose an English Springer Spaniel named James its Best in Show. The spaniel got a lunch at Sardi's with a huge bowl of water and a filet mignon. They serve it to Bill Clinton whenever he's in the doghouse.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton