Jewish World Review Feb. 15, 2007 /27 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Zsa Zsa Gabor declared Tuesday she doesn't care if her husband fathered Anna Nicole Smith's child, but if he brings the baby home she's divorcing him. You can't fault her logic. Having a younger woman in the house would make her look older.
Anna Nicole Smith's refrigerator contents were photographed and televised on Sunday, showing the lower compartment shelf filled with methadone and Slim Fast. Her attorneys were horrified. She was under contract to promote Trim Spa and heroin.
NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak posted bail after she attacked a rival for someone else's affection in an insanely jealous rage. Love is the world's most powerful drug. The challenge is to find twelve jurors who have not done the exact same thing.
The Dixie Chicks won the Grammy for Best Country Album on Sunday even though they are boycotted by country radio stations. You can tell the vote was held in Hollywood. The other nominees for best country were Cuba, Switzerland and Vietnam.
Tiger Woods raised eyebrows Sunday when he decided to bypass the Los Angeles Open. He has never won at Riviera and doesn't want to risk his PGA Tour winning streak. The next time Tiger Woods hosts the Masters dinner it'll be chicken or duck.
Arizona's Hualapai Tribe opens a glass skywalk on the edge of the Grand Canyon next month. The restaurant bar is huge. It includes a small casino where they take bets on who's going to jump and who's going to come back through the gift shop.
Michelle Obama told 60 Minutes Sunday she only let Barack run for president if he promised to quit smoking, and she asked the country to notify her if we catch him. This really is a new generation of leadership. Hillary Clinton never wanted to know.
Hillary Clinton called the situation in Iraq a civil war on Sunday, the first time she used the phrase. She said as president she would tell other countries that we are not going to baby-sit a civil war. That's a line she stole from Chelsea.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton