Jewish World Review Feb. 14, 2007 /26 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The International Space Station reported a power outage inside the cabin for most of Sunday. The three-member crew was never in any danger. The astronauts were going to light some candles but NASA reminded them that nothing romantic is allowed.
Men's Fitness magazine named Albuquerque as America's fittest city Wednesday, while Las Vegas was named America's fattest city. It's self-evident. People in Albuquerque work out, while everyone in Las Vegas gets winded just saying Albuquerque.
Teenage Research Unlimited released a survey showing one-fourth of teenagers in a relationship get hourly text messages from their partners checking up on them. This used to be called harassment. Now it's considered congressional outreach.
Ralph Nader went on the air Saturday to promote Green Party candidates. They have a new image problem. Anymore if voters hear that you're green, they think you're going to drive across the country in an adult diaper and kill your love rival.
Al Gore went to the Grammy Awards in Hollywood Sunday. The industry forgave him for his wife's crusade against filthy racist lyrics. This year the Grammy Award for Best Song Lyrics in the category of Hip Hop could go to Michael Richards.
Senator Barack Obama announced his candidacy for president Saturday from the courthouse steps in Springfield. He looked good. When most Illinois politicians are photographed standing on the courthouse steps they're wearing orange jumpsuits.
The Weather Channel reported that ten feet of snow fell on towns in Oswego County in New York Friday. The blizzard arrived from Canada. The flakes were allowed to enter the United States without a passport because it's Fashion Week in New York.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton