Jewish World Review Feb. 13, 2007 /25 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Prince von Anhalt claimed Friday he is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Zsa Zsa won't kick him out. They live in Bel Air, where having an old goat around the house can save you a fortune in lawn mowing expenses.
The Grammy Awards in Los Angeles Sunday featured a reunion of the rock group the Police. You could feel the excitement in the building. Normally whenever the police get together in Los Angeles and there are cameras on them, bad things happen.
NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak flipped out and tried to whack a female love rival for astronaut Bill Oefelein. It's not her fault. If they didn't want astronauts to be fooling around on the job they should have named the space center after Nixon.
Senator Barack Obama announced his candidacy for president Saturday. He said it's time for a new generation of leadership. Hillary Clinton got right on the telephone to her agent and told him she is not ready to play the Bob Dole roles.
Hillary Clinton told a New Hampshire town hall Saturday she supports same-sex unions but she opposes gay marriage. In other words, she endorsed sex outside of marriage. There can be no doubt now that her husband's her top political advisor.
John Kerry gave the Democratic radio address Saturday and called on Congress to end the Iraq war once and for all. What a lost opportunity. If John Kerry had only said this four years ago he could have been laughed out of Iowa with Howard Dean.
Virgin Airways founder Richard Branson offered a twenty-five-million-dollar reward for a way to get rid of greenhouse gases. He said the answer is to vacuum them out of the ozone. Now the pathway to citizenship goes through the troposphere.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton