Jewish World Review Feb. 8, 2007 /20 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak drove to Florida wearing a wig and an adult diaper Monday to assault a love rival. It's big news. Iran must be terrified now that they know we don't do any psychological screening of the people on top of our rockets.
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom went to rehab Monday after being busted for an affair with a woman. He was confronted by her the day she got out of rehab herself. Maybe fewer people will have one-night stands now that they take twenty-eight days.
Massachusetts' former governor Mitt Romney said Tuesday he will announce his candidacy for the GOP nomination for president next week. He's a Mormon. It's not expected to hurt him as long as Rudy Giuliani is the candidate with three wives.
Jerry Jones interviewed Chicago Bears defensive coach Ron Rivera for the job of Dallas Cowboy defense coach. Why bother? It's just a lateral move, like when Ryan O'Neal gave up action movies so he can spend more time at home with his family.
Ryan O'Neal was arrested in Malibu Sunday and charged with illegal discharge of a firearm and assault. Mel Gibson was arrested after he threatened a Malibu cop. The real reason Malibu is anti-war is because they can't stand the competition.
The Ku Klux Klan was reported on Monday to be enjoying a membership increase in the South. It's a seasonal upsurge. The increase represents a convergence of the end of the January white sale at Wal-Mart and the arrival of Black History Month.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton