Jewish World Review Feb. 1, 2007 /14 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Fidel Castro went on television in Cuba Tuesday to show the world he's still hale and hearty. You have to shake your head. If Sears had any sense of humor at all they would feature Fidel Castro in a Super Bowl commercial for the Die Hard.
Super Bowl officials admitted they have security concerns about Miami Tuesday if Fidel Castro dies during the game. There could be widespread looting and rioting on the streets. Who says Los Angeles doesn't have a team in the National Football League?
Barry Bonds signed with the San Francisco Giants Monday after several months of haggling. He was forced to agree to special contract provisions. The only way he's going to get paid if he's indicted is if he gets elected to Congress.
New York Times reporter Judith Miller testified Tuesday in the Scooter Libby trial. Judy went to jail rather than tell prosecutors Scooter was her source. It is the most romantic thing that's happened in Washington since the Clinton years.
Hillary Clinton campaigns in New Hampshire this weekend, visiting four cities in two days. She's bringing along with her the memory of the thirty-second-long laugh she got from an Iowa crowd last week. You never forget your first Bill Clinton joke.
The Justice Department will announce Monday which city gets a two-hundred-million-dollar grant to fight crime. City mayors have been competing to show who has the worst criminals. It will be decided this Sunday between Indianapolis and Chicago.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton