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Jewish World Review
Feb. 1, 2007
/ 14 Shevat, 5767
Kucinich-Vilsack race turns nasty
By
Andy Borowitz
War of words heats up at bottom of Democratic heap
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The race to determine who the most obscure Democratic contender for president is took a nasty turn today, with both Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio and former Governor Tom Vilsack of Iowa laying claim to that title.
Much has been made of the competition at the top of the Democratic heap between Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York and Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois, but less coverage has been devoted to the Kucinich-Vilsack death-match, which has grown increasingly ugly in recent days.
"I got into this race because I wanted to be the candidate with the least shot of winning," Rep. Kucinich told a Davenport rally attended by only three supporters. "Tom Vilsack isn't going to take that away from me."
Pointing to polls that show his name recognition at four percent, Rep. Kucinich dared Gov. Vilsack to wrest "the crown of obscurity" from his head.
"Tom Vilsack, you can try to make your campaign more futile than mine, but you will fail," Rep. Kucinich said. "When it comes to obscurity, I will crush you like a bug."
But at a rally in Cedar Rapids, Gov. Vilsack seemed unperturbed by Mr. Kucinich's remarks, telling reporters, "Futility-wise, my campaign is on track."
Mr. Vilsack noted that there were only two supporters in attendance at his rally, and pointed to a recent poll showing that he had only one percent name recognition.
"And that's among members of my own family," he said.
Elsewhere, archeologists in England say they have discovered remains of a prehistoric settlement near Stonehenge, including timbers, hearths and ticket stubs from a Jimmy Buffett concert.
Andy's Archives
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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville.
© 2006, Andy Borowitz
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