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Jewish World Review Feb. 17, 2006 / 19 Shevat, 5766 Making Sense . . . of Recent Events: If the news has no reason, at least it can rhyme By Gene Weingarten
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Sure, the news is bad. But, cheer up. It could be verse.
ON A NEW STUDY REVEALING READING DEFICIENCIES IN RECENT COLLEGE GRADUATES
Presents a total mystery. Facts and concepts all get blurred — Whether science, math or history. I'm here to say they need a way To see their plight and mend it. But what good is this commu- nique If they cannot comprehend it? I think I know just how to go To reach the dumb and young: You must address them as below (i.e., in their native tongue): If ur fine with earning dimes Serving burgers or falafel, Then, WTF, stick to IMs OK? LOL, :) ROFL!
ON THE CURIOUS CASE OF LOBBYIST JACK ABRAMOFF
He swindled Indians, fleeced their tribes And spread some cash that looked like bribes. In bills and laws this guy was meddling. It sounds a lot like influence peddling. He copped a plea, and the pols went nuts, Running to cover their ample butts. They sent back cash they were shocked to find Was from this guy! It had slipped their mind! Now the congressmen, who look like fools, Have gone to work to change the rules — To make it harder to be bought. (Or maybe harder to be caught.) With pigs and pork at all the troughs, They're fearing future Abramoffs! Sounds like words from a felon's pen — "Stop me before I swill again."
RICHARD THE CRYIN'-HEARTED
Pity poor Richard, the scheming nudist On the first "Survivor" show. He was the smartest, he was the rudest, And he won a load of dough. But Richard failed to share the loot With the taxman, or declare it. This oversight was not astute, Since millions saw him snare it. He came to court before too long Completely naked, in a way. He said that he had meant no wrong, That he'd just forgot to pay. I am the dumbest man alive, He told the jury, with a stammer. They rolled their eyes, and said: Survive A few years in the slammer. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
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Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||
