Jewish World Review Feb. 27, 2006 / 29 Shevat, 5766

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The U.S. Army's 82nd Airborne Division was rocked by a sex scandal on Friday. Seven paratroopers were caught participating in a gay sex ring. The men could receive up to three months in the brig plus an Academy Award for Best Picture.

The Winter Olympics in Turin Thursday featured the United States winning its first-ever medal in curling. That's the sport that depends upon an athlete's skill with a broom. It's just more evidence that illegal immigration is out of hand.

Bill Clinton was refused a round of golf in Australia Thursday due to a tournament so he had to play at a neighboring course. Golfers there told reporters he was followed everywhere by minders. Hillary isn't leaving anything to chance.

Malibu police said a million-dollar Ferrari crashed on Pacific Coast Highway Tuesday going a hundred twenty miles an hour. The driver's fine. The hospital was flooded with calls from concerned friends and relatives asking how the car is doing.

Dubai Ports World said Friday it will proceed with the purchase of the British company that runs six U.S. ports. They said they will segregate U.S. operations. Once the president accused the nation of being racist, the company knew what it had to do to get the deal through Congress.

President Bush said he cannot understand why it's okay for Britain to own U.S. ports but not okay for an Arab country. One country is a source for terrorist financing while the other one is our mother country. Other than that, they're two peas in a pod.

The White House thanked Dubai Ports World Friday after the company offered to delay taking over six U.S. ports. It's helpful. This gives the president more time to focus on his guest-worker proposal and his goal of getting his approval rating to zero.

Hillary Clinton ripped the handover of six U.S. ports to an Arab-owned company on Friday. She plans to introduce a bill in the Senate to stop it. She admits hesitating, because the last time she introduced a bill her parents warned her not to marry him.

The New York Port Authority filed suit Friday to block the sale of its ports to a company owned by United Arab Emirates. The country is a pirate's cove for freebooters and money launderers. At least that what it says in its Business Week ad.

The Oscar-winning film Network will be out on DVD Monday for the movie's thirtieth anniversary. The movie is about a television campaign to sell Americans on a risky business deal with an Arab company. The plot was considered so absurd it was released as a comedy.

The White House defended the sale of ports to an Arab company Thursday. Both Democrats and Republicans joined together to denounce it unanimously. It took five years but President Bush finally kept his promise to be a uniter, not a divider.

President Bush hinted that Americans are racist for objecting to Arabs owning our ports. The UAE is a country that executes adulterers. When Bill Clinton gives a speech in Dubai he has to be led into and out of the hotel wearing horse blinders.

Saddam Hussein's trial was put on hold Friday due to daylight curfews imposed to stem the worsening violence in Iraq. The country's on the verge of civil war. Rhett Butler was last seen telling the Sunnis that all they've got is cotton and arrogance.

President Bush asked Congress for seventy-five million dollars Friday so the administration can promote democracy in Iran. Here we go again. If democracy works as well in Iran as it did in the West Bank and Iraq, Israel may have to stage a pre- emptive strike on us before we do any more damage to their national security.