Jewish World Review Feb. 10, 2006 / 12 Shevat, 5766

And now for the important news ....

By Argus Hamilton

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Malibu was ringed by wildfires threatening the movie colony Wednesday. Arson investigators suspect the fires were set by angry demonstrators. The day before, a Dutch newspaper printed an editorial cartoon showing George Hamilton without a tan.

Wayne Gretzky's actress wife Janet Jones was implicated Monday in an illegal bookmaking ring. It was revealed that during their courtship she lied about her age by nine years. It won't damage anybody's career unless she said she was twelve.

The Washington Post reported an eight-year study of low-fat diets Tuesday which found that low-fat diets have no health benefits at all. So what do we do now? We are currently living in a nation where one out of three people weigh as much as the other two.

Toyota announced record profits Tuesday, a week after Exxon announced record profits. Maybe it is an addiction. In Los Angeles, the Crips are giving up their street corners for auto dealerships in Santa Monica and gas stations along Interstate Ten.

The White House forced a Sheraton hotel in Mexico City to evict American oil executives meeting with Cuban officials Saturday. Mexico said the U.S. violated its sovereignty. The Mexican people were plenty furious but not enough to go back to Mexico.

The U.S. Senate debated a bill to halt the sale of cellphone records by Internet firms. It's a life and death issue. Bill Clinton is alive today because Hillary didn't know you can track your husband's cellphone calls for a hundred and forty dollars.

Hillary Clinton charged Wednesday that Republicans are playing the fear card of terrorism on every issue. People don't trust her to be vigilant. President Bush might have missed the 9-11 attacks on New York, but Monica Lewinsky was right downstairs.