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February 13, 2012
Binyamin Rose: Back to the Bunker: How a life-risking act by a Christian family during the Holocaust saved a family and built a thriving community a world away
Menachem Wecker: Business Schools Teach Real Estate Despite Troubled Housing Market
February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Feb. 11, 2005
/ 2 Adar I, 5765
Whee the People
By
Gene Weingarten
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
I am standing in the rotunda of the National Archives, looking down at the Declaration of Independence. As we all know, this is an extremely famous and important document, and I am filled with all the appropriate awe and wonder, diminished only slightly by the fact that the Declaration is, essentially, a blank sheet of paper.
They never tell you that in school. It has faded to the point where the only immediately recognizable words are the giant "In Congress" at the top and John Hancock's John Hancock. Otherwise, it may as well be a great big, slightly soiled hankie. This is because, for the first half-century or so after it was signed, it was displayed on the walls of various government buildings, in the sun and elements, tacked up like a butcher-shop poster for ham hocks.
This was just one of the things I learned during a special humor tour of the Archives, conducted for me by the Archives staff. Some stuff I saw is actually on public display, and some is hidden away in the "stacks," which is an enormous warren of old files that has a distinctive smell and feel. The best way to replicate this smell and feel would be to open a really old book, stick your nose deep into the creamy, yellowed pages, slam the book closed so you can't breathe, and die. It is really musty in those stacks.
Anyway, I learned many important lessons on my tour.
Lesson One: Technology Can Be Good
An urgent message was delivered to a commander from an Army major whose unit was pinned down behind German lines in the Argonne Forest, on October 4, 1918. The major used the speediest message delivery technology available at the time, which was . . . a pigeon. The message was stuffed into a little capsule and flapped several miles to a pigeon box at command headquarters, retrieved by a bird handler and trotted to the commanding officer. It reads, in its entirety: "We are along the road parallel to 276.4. Our own artillery is dropping a barrage directly on us. For heaven's sake stop it."
Lesson Two: On the Other Hand, Technology Can Be Bad
There is a rare recording of the voice of Theodore Roosevelt, from 1912. America's most macho president scourge of corporate scoundrels, conqueror of the Spaniards, protector of the hemisphere, wielder of the Big Stick sounds exactly like Mister Magoo.
Lesson Three: No, We Didn't Invent Bureaucracy
A letter dated November 1, 1866, from a clerk in the Bureau of Refugees, Freedmen and Abandoned Lands to his boss: "I have the honor to report that no reports are due by me to your Office for the Month of October, not being responsible for anything. Very Respectfully, Yr. Obd. Svt., James Lowrie."
Lesson Four: No, We Didn't Invent Stupidity
There once was a respected organization named the National Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage. In a letter it issued in 1917, this group made the argument that if women got the vote, they would tend to "pester" the government with their petty concerns. Among the signatories was a Mrs. Robert Lansing, wife of the U.S. secretary of state.
Lesson Five: Stereotypes Can Be Fun
During World War II, the U.S. government carried out a covert operation based upon the assumption that the Germans were comically devoted to order and discipline.
When we bombed German trains, we also dropped upon the wreckage German-looking mailbags filled with sealed letters to ordinary German citizens. The letters contained anti-Nazi propaganda. We theorized that the German authorities, finding unopened mail, would unquestioningly deliver it. They did.
Lesson Six: Humor Tours Can End Abruptly
Days after the end of the Civil War, a court-martial appeal was brought to the president. A young soldier had twice deserted from his unit a hanging offense in wartime yet there was some evidence that he was mentally disturbed. Atop the document, Abraham Lincoln wrote, mercifully: "This man is pardoned and hereby ordered to be discharged." Then he signed and dated it, "April 14, 1865." It may have been his final act, before heading off to the theater.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and the media consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.
02/04/05: Dial M for Mischief
01/28/05: The Feminine Mistake
01/21/05: A Head of His Time: Exploring the commodious nature of art
01/11/05: You can't buy this kind of PR ... But then, you wouldn't want to
© 2005 WPWG
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