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Jewish World Review Feb. 28, 2005 / 19 Adar I, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Arnold Schwarzenegger begged for federal aid on the Sunday
morning talk shows in Washington. California is falling apart.
It's lucky we elected a governor on steroids so that he can push
the mountains back up to where they are supposed to be.
Congressman Henry Waxman asked Jose Canseco to testify
before Congress about steroid use. Congressmen have no right to
complain about the slugger. Their egos are so big they have to rub
Preparation H on them every day to reduce the swelling.
France agreed last week to train Iraqi soldiers and
constabulary with French military instructors. It's a matter of
fine tuning. As experienced as the Iraq soldiers are, they can
always be taught to throw down their guns and run away faster.
Bill Gates addressed the nation's governors on Saturday in
Washington. We all learn and we grow. For many years Bill Gates
didn't donate to either political party and then the Justice
Department taught him that life is all about partnerships.
Democrats in Congress complained that U.S. ports remain
vulnerable to attacks by terrorists. There's a heightened alert in
Los Angeles tonight. Homeland Security profilers placed the
terrorists in two categories, presenters and nominees.
Jose Canseco hinted on NBC Wednesday he will take a
televised polygraph test to verify his list of steroid users in
baseball. He doesn't need to. It's so obvious he is telling the
truth that Bill Clinton just enrolled in his acting class.
Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean in Kansas Friday tried
to win converts with a speech in Topeka. It's a losing cause.
Democrats couldn't carry Kansas if they persuaded Congress to
require that the world's oceans be fifty percent ethanol.
Hillary Clinton went on a private visit to India on Thursday
to further buff her presidential foreign policy credentials. She's
moved from Chicago to Yale to Arkansas to Washington D.C. to New
York. Her presidential library will be a bookmobile.
Adelphia Cable canceled plans Thursday to offer hardcore
pornography to Los Angeles viewers. It was graphic stuff. The
public outcry was just too much when people heard they were going
to show a house rear-ending a Porsche in Laurel Canyon.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton | ||||||||||
