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Jewish World Review Feb. 14, 2005 / 5 Adar I, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Pentagon said Thursday North Korea could theoretically
threaten the West Coast with a nuclear missile attack. Los Angeles
doesn't have much of an early warning system. Everybody is simply
monitoring George Hamilton for early blistering.
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il said Thursday his country possesses nuclear weapons for its defense. Reaction was harsh. The government of Iran introduced a resolution in the United Nations Friday condemning North Korea for cutting in line.
North Korea's nuclear bomb announcement Friday called attention to U.S. troop shortages in the region. There are only forty thousand U.S. soldiers left in place to defend South Korea. We used more troops to ensure a clean halftime show at the Super Bowl.
President Bush in Pennsylvania Thursday cited polls saying young people want to overhaul Social Security. What do they know? Eighty percent of high school students think the Great Depression ended when Franklin D. Roosevelt invented Prozac.
President Bush's Social Security plan picked up the support
of two U.S. Senate Democrats. The party has a few conservatives
left. In an effort to appear more religious, Hillary Clinton
showed up for work in the Senate Thursday wearing a burka.
Howard Dean was selected Democratic Party Chairman in
Washington D.C. Saturday at a meeting in the Mayflower Hotel. It
has been the unofficial headquarters of the Democratic Party for
years. The Gideon Bibles are chained to the nightstands.
Ronald Reagan was honored with a postage stamp by the Postal
Service Tuesday in a ceremony at his Simi Valley ranch. He made
everyone proud to be an American when he was the president. For
eight years Henry Kissinger spoke without an accent.
Sara Lee Foods announced Tuesday it will sell its recently-
purchased Playtex Company after a vote of the board of directors.
There were financial pressures. The girdle division was going
broke trying to keep up with the cheesecake division.
The Episcopal Church announced Friday that donations fell by
four million dollars since the gay bishop was ordained. It doesn't
shake my church's faith. Episcopalians believe that death isn't
the final end, there remains the litigation over the estate.
Prince Charles became engaged to Camilla Parker Bowles on
Wednesday. Opinion in Great Britain and America polled
overwhelmingly in favor of the marriage. Everybody believes that
it's long past time for them to start cheating on each other.
Bill Clinton and John Kerry spoke at a Democratic dinner Thursday honoring party chairman Terry McAuliffe. It was a tribute to the art of shameless fundraising. Before dinner everyone bowed their heads as Jerry Lewis gave the opening invocation.
Hillary Clinton, in the Gallup Poll Thursday, was the overwhelming favorite of Democratic voters to be their party nominee for president in three years. It's a surprise. Most women who want to make their husbands jealous simply have an affair.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton | ||||||||||
