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Jewish World Review Feb. 7, 2005 / 28 Shevat, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Condi Rice began her diplomatic tour of European capitals
Friday. She's said her life goal is to be commissioner of the
National Football League. It can't be good news for Iran when
America's chief diplomat wants to supervise a contact sport.
The U.S. Court of Appeals told the Justice Department Friday
it will not be allowed to sue the tobacco industry for lying about
the dangers of smoking. It's really a no-win situation. The judge
can still order the tobacco companies to pay for quit-smoking
programs, but that will just make the obesity epidemic worse.
President Bush rode high in the polls Wednesday after his
State of the Union speech. The opposition is defenseless. The
Democratic Party is so bereft of ideas that its popularity now
depends on whether or not Hillary is having a good hair day.
Country singer Kinky Friedman announced on Thursday he will
run for governor of Texas. This bodes well for private Social
Security accounts. The last time the South elected a kinky
governor he became president and tripled the stock market.
The U.S. Senate argued over the costs of Social Security
reform Thursday. They hammed it up for the cameras. The debate
reached an emotional high point when the leaders of both parties
held up index fingers dipped in red ink and waved them around.
President Bush tried to explain in North Dakota Thursday why
Social Security is in trouble. He said the system will go bankrupt
because people are living so long. Face it, the only way to save
Social Security is to fire the Surgeon General.
Laura Bush discussed her second-term plans with NBC's Brian
Williams Thursday night. She talked about her desire to help and
encourage teenage boys. Two days later she got a postcard from
Mary Kay LeTourneau saying it only leads to heartache.
Jeanie Buss asked her father to hire back her boyfriend Phil
Jackson to coach the Lakers. She said she can get to the games
faster if she has someone to ride with her in the carpool lanes.
There is nothing like Valentine's Day in Los Angeles.
Martha Stewart, it was announced Tuesday, will host The
Apprentice while she's still under house arrest this fall. What a
businesswoman. By the time Martha Stewart gets out of prison Kmart
will be selling ankle monitors in Nantucket White.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton | ||||||||||
