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Jewish World Review Feb. 28, 2005 / 19 Adar I, 5765 Canseco claims he injected Goldie Hawn with Botox By Andy Borowitz Wrinkle elixir 'Hollywood's dirty secret,' slugger says http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Former Oakland Athletics slugger Jose Canseco rocked Hollywood today by claiming that he injected actress Goldie Hawn with the wrinkle-smoothing drug botox on over thirty separate occasions. Calling botox "Hollywood's dirty secret," Mr. Canseco appeared on CBS' "60 Minutes" to promote his latest tell-all book, "Plumped," a searing look at rampant botox use among Hollywood actresses. "Goldie Hawn knows what all Hollywood actresses know: that you have to do botox in order to compete," Mr. Canseco told CBS' Mike Wallace. "I'm not saying I'm proud of what I did, but I personally injected botox into Goldie Hawn's head." While providing only sketchy details about how he came to know Ms. Hawn, he said that on over thirty occasions he helped her smooth out the wrinkles on her forehead as well as "problem areas around her eyes and mouth." But Mr. Canseco said his botox-injecting relationship with Ms. Hawn ended after she threw a hairbrush at him in an episode of what he called "tox rage." The slugger's allegations, timed to coincide with the 77th Academy Awards, could rattle dozens of Hollywood actresses whom the slugger claims he shot up with botox, says veteran Hollywood talent agent Buddy Schlantz. "There are a lot of women in this town who are very worried about Jose's book, especially those who are no longer capable of looking worried," Mr. Schlantz said. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and the media consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. BOROWITZ'S LATEST "The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers"   This book has page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too   —   yes, shocking   —   for the mainstream press to handle. Sales help fund JWR. Andy's Archives Comment by clicking here. ARCHIVES JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. © 2005 Andy Borowitz