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Nov. 20, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: How to make every second of your life come first
Caroline B. Glick: Whither American Jewry
Nov. 19, 2009
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Please Listen to this Godcast (5 minutes)
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: What Judaism has to say about the secret of the Mona Lisa's smile
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : When borrowing is stealing
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Obama's failure, Netanyahu's opportunity
Nov. 12, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet By Marialisa Calta : A sweet sweet potato treat
JWisdom.com Does God get tired? with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Jews and money: When anti-Semitism isn't
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Feb. 19, 2004 / 27 Shevat, 5764

Purse v. propriety; poor sport or do the right thing?; changing wills after breakup

By Wendy Belzberg

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http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Q: My friend of 20 years called to say that $150 disappeared from her purse while she was at our house. She had left her bag indoors while we were dining outside. She pointed her finger at our 12-year-old daughter. When I questioned our daughter, she was hurt and bewildered. We have never had an incident when the property of a guest went missing. The accusation is hanging over our longstanding friendship.

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A: You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to see that someone is lying. And, unless there was someone else in your house at the time, it is either your daughter or your friend. You know your daughter. Is it possible that you have your head buried in the sand and that she is a bold-faced liar? Is yours the kind of household in which it's possible to admit a misstep? Once you've taken a cold, hard look at the situation, consider that the entire incident may be the product of your friend's imagination. Your daughter's age does not make her the obvious culprit. Blood being thicker than water, the friendship is likely to be tainted until the matter is entirely resolved. Unless you have a hidden video camera somewhere, your only hope is for a full confession.

Q: I am considering filing a lawsuit that is sure to attract media attention. The news coverage could result in a scandal for the company in question. I believe that I am fully in the right and can prove that this company was guilty of unethical behavior, which resulted in the loss of almost $1 million dollars to my consulting firm. My concern is that a lawsuit may make me look like a "poor sport" in my professional circles.


A: I do not believe that a protracted lawsuit is a productive use of time. It is always better to settle quietly behind closed doors. You may need to engage a lawyer and to file suit to get the other party's attention — even if you do not intend to go to court. A threatening legal letter can work wonders, especially when joined with the specter of bad publicity.


That said, if there is no doubt in your mind about the ethics in question here, you have a moral obligation — to all concerned — to go the distance. The price of walking away from your principles may be steeper than the cost of the lawsuit. Only you can answer that question.

Q: When we were still together, my ex and I willed our assets to each other. Inasmuch as he has a new partner, would it be right of me to change my will? He says he has no intention of changing his will.


A: What your ex says and what your ex does may be two very different things. (Why am I wondering if you are by any chance the wealthier of the two?) In any event, it makes no sense for either of you to name the other as sole beneficiary. You are no longer together and, assuming no children are involved, the break should be clean. You presumably will become involved with someone else, and no new love interest — particularly a life partner — will take kindly to the news that your worldly goods belong in perpetuity to his predecessor.

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© 2004, Wendy Belzberg