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Sept. 4, 2008

Ron Kampeas: Biden, Palin take lead in clash on Mideast issues

Bruce Dancis: With humor as their weapon, the Three Stooges took on Hitler

Sept. 3, 2008

Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg: Productive school years don't just happen

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Quick lamb stew serves up flavors of India

Sept. 2, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Costly Advice

Caroline B. Glick: Calling Israel's bluff

JWisdom: Wandering in Wonder by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

August 29, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: 20/20 sightlessness

Caroline B. Glick: When history is not repeated

JWisdom: Blessed or Cursed: It's Really Up to You by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 28, 2008

Steve Lipman: A Comeback for the 'Jewish Jordan'

Jeffrey Weiss: Researcher reports 'intriguing' diabetes breakthrough

August 27, 2008

Rabbi Zecharya Greenwald: Removing the perfectionist's mask

The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Nunn: Summer harvest linguine

JWisdom:: The Missing Link in Spiritual Life by Rabbi David Aaron

August 26, 2008

Yaffa Ganz: Grandma gets lessons in staying cool

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: The Dems' 'soft' jihadist

JWisdom:: Today: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Plague of indifference

August 25, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: A friend is bearing a silly grudge from a supposed wrong. What recourse do I have?

Daniel Pipes: Barack Obama through Muslim Eyes

JWisdom:: The knowledge you need to overcome your insecurities by Malka Schulman

August 22, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: Life's essential ingredient

Caroline B. Glick: Dominos anyone?

JWisdom:: Actually, Do Sweat the Small Stuff! by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 21, 2008

Today in Biblical History by Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Popularization of Kabbalah: 20 Menachem-Av 1558 CE

Jonathan Rosenblum: Lessons from the Beyond

JWisdom: : The Olympian within is rooting for you -- yes, you! –- to go for the gold

August 20, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Misleading Platform Platitudes

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Chicken Salad with Asian Dressing

JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: America's Defense of the Jews --- Until WWII by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

August 19, 2008

Dennis Prager: If the Almighty doesn't exist

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Obama's Islamist problem has nothing to do with his upbringing

JWisdom: Think your life is messed up? by Rabbi David Aaron

August 18, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Business with Friends

Diana West: Roars About Russia, Bare Whispers About Islam

JWisdom: Relationship agony: The real cause by Malka Schulman

August 15, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: To love the Divine

Caroline B. Glick: Georgia, Israel, and the nature of man

JWisdom: The Truly Righteous Don't Demand Entitlements by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 14, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Confessions of broken spirit

Libby Lazewnik: The Numbers Game

JWisdom: Six Questions You'll Be Asked in Heaven? - Uh - Let's Just Take One for Now! by Gavriel Aryeh Sanders

August 13, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Georgia should be on their minds

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Go Greek: Pair flavorful lamb kebabs with a hearty salad

JWisdom: Human hybrids aren't science fiction by Rabbi David Aaron

August 12, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bless us

Daniel Pipes: The West's Islamist Infiltrators

JWisdom: From Sadness to Gladness: The Route from Tisha b'Av to Rosh Hashana by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

August 11, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: A Jewish view on fair pricing

Caroline B. Glick: Ignoring failure in Gaza

JWisdom: 'Communication' Is Not The Answer! by Malka Schulman

August 7, 2008

Rabbi David Gutterman: A Continuing Story With a Sustaining Goal

Rabbi Berel Wein: Mourning and morning

JWisdom: Yes, we are still in exile by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

August 6, 2008

David Ashenfelter: Government made military engineer's life a living hell because of his faith, Defense Department report documents

Jonathan Tobin: Speak the Truth; Defeat the Lies

JWisdom: Jewish Spirituality: Fusion or Confusion? by Rabbi David Aaron

August 5, 2008

Chris Leppek: Church/state wall beginning to crumble?

Paul Greenberg: Exit Olmert (no encore, please)

JWisdom: Serenity: Make the commitment by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin (Read by Gavriel Sanders)

August 4, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Am I taking advantage of another's psychological quirk?

Andrew Silow-Carroll: A black and a Jew walk into the White House…

JWisdom: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Edward R. Morrow visits the ‘living dead’ by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Feb. 3, 2004 / 11 Shevat, 5764

Joining the Party

By Jonathan Tobin



The Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebrated as a soulless and godless excuse for spending money is a real problem for a secular Jewish community that wonders about its future. It is a custom other faith communities should imitate only at their peril.


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Just when you thought that the integration of Jews into American culture couldn't be more complete, now comes news that non-Jewish adolescents are afflicted with a new problem: Bar and Bat Mitzvah envy.


Laugh all you like, but this curious trend was the subject of a front-page article in The Wall Street Journal on Jan. 14. In it, Journal staffer Elizabeth Bernstein reported that upscale non-Jewish kids are bummed out about the lavish parties their Jewish classmates are getting — and want in on the action. The result is that some parents are giving them catered 13th birthday parties with DJs and dancers that bear a striking resemblance to contemporary Jewish celebrations.



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While Bernstein didn't supply any data to lead us to think that this desire was really sweeping the nation, she did discover that there are enough of these odd events taking place to note that the trend was growing.


According to the Journal, Jewish reaction to this tidbit was split between those who are tickled by the idea of Americans adopting yet another piece of Jewish culture as their own and those who resent it.


In the former view, we should be proud that our rite of passage is no longer exclusive to the Jews in the way that bagels-and-lox, and some Yiddish words, have also become as American as apple pie.

CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION
Others apparently worry that these faux Bar/Bat Mitzvahs that feature candlelighting ceremonies for relatives are a mockery of Judaism.


In an age where anti-Semitism is on the rise, some of us can be forgiven for seeing anything — even something as harmlessly stupid as this — as an excuse for worry. But those who wonder about the implications of such silliness have it backward. It's not the non-Jewish kids and their parents who are mocking Judaism; it's the Jews they are copying that are at fault.


In a cliché that has been tossed down from virtually every [non-Orthodox — editor] synagogue pulpit in the country by frustrated rabbis to their indifferent congregations, there is often a lot more bar than there is mitzvah in our coming-of-age rituals these days.


No one suspects that the non-Jewish kids who caught the attention of the Journal had any desire to actually learn Jewish history, Hebrew and study the Torah, and to therefore take on more personal responsibility in their lives or even to adapt any of this to their own faiths. They just wanted a big party. The question that ought to haunt us is how different are they and their parents from all too many of their Jewish counterparts?

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The formal ritual of the Bar Mitzvah for boys dates back to early modern Europe, while the Bat Mitzvah for girls was a 20th-century American innovation. But the notion that the age of 13 was a time for assuming religious and legal obligations goes back much further in Jewish consciousness.


Mishnaic literature tells us that it was at age 13 that our biblical father Abraham tore down the false idols of his father. But it is probably not stretching a point to note that the many extravagant parties these days seem to be more of a homage to false idols of popular secular culture than a reaffirmation of religious values.


It is this noxious aspect of our culture that leaps straight out of the bourgeois gaucheries of Philip Roth's classic Goodbye ,Columbus that some of our neighbors are seeking to imitate, not the nobler ideals of Judaism.


The ritual of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah has undergone a transformation in this country in the past century that parallels the rise in status and income for many American Jews.


The celebrations of our immigrant grandparents were in keeping with the modest resources of most in the Jewish community in those days with the stereotypical gift of the era giving rise to the old joke that a Bar Mitzvah boy's speech would begin with the phrase, "Today, I am a fountain pen." Today, that lame jest rings hollow in an age when the cost of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs typically runs into the tens of thousands, if not more.


Is this merely a question of rampant bad taste? Maybe. But I think critics of our coming-of-age culture are more than party-poopers.


Calling the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrant to the Torah as an adult is a symbol of the youngster joining a community of faith as a full-fledged member. But the downgrading of religious content and the emphasis on secular display illustrates the way all too many American Jews are becoming more distant from Jewish tradition, no matter which denominational interpretation they might accept.


If all we are giving our kids is a taste for expensive display, then we would do better to, as the Reform movement once suggested, scrap this tradition for a confirmation ceremony at the end of a course of Jewish study that extends beyond the age of 13. Indeed, the fact that for most kids, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah marks the end of any Jewish education is a worse problem than the expense wasted on lavish affairs.

SOME POSITIVE EXAMPLES
It should also be noted that there are some highly positive alternatives to hideous theme parties that are also growing in popularity. More kids these days are donating percentages of the cash gifts they receive to charities or dedicating the event to a cause that they see as greater than their own personal glory.


During the struggle to free Soviet Jewry, the practice of twinning Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebrations here with kids still locked behind the Iron Curtain helped bring that issue to a mass audience. Perhaps that idea can be revived by matching American kids with those in Israel who are survivors of terror attacks or otherwise in need.


And, of course, there is the all-purpose alternative to a big party: a family trip to Israel. Though the popularity of such excursions has understandably declined in recent years due to the Palestinian terror war, there are still many courageous parents and children who want something far more meaningful — and are rewarded with the experience of their lives.


But if the only point of contact for Jewish youngsters with their tradition is a part-time education whose sole raison d'etre is to give them an excuse for an expensive bash for their friends, then why should we be surprised if many of them reject Judaism as lacking in the spiritual values they seek as adults?


The Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebrated as a soulless and godless excuse for spending money is a real problem for a [non-Orthodox — editor] Jewish community that wonders about its future. It is a custom other faith communities should imitate only at their peril.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Jonathan S. Tobin is executive editor of the Philadelphia Jewish Exponent. Let him know what you think by clicking here. In June, Mr. Tobin won first places honors in the American Jewish Press Association's Louis Rapaport Award for Excellence in Commentary as well as the Philadelphia Press Association's Media Award for top weekly columnist. Both competitions were for articles written in the year 2002.

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© 2004, Jonathan Tobin