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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb. 20, 2003 / 28 Shevat, 5764

Women offer advice on weeding out loser boyfriends

By John Boudreau


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http://www.jewishworldreview.com | (KRT) The handsome, sweet date did everything right - up until he admitted to his nightly abductions by space aliens.

Then there's the supportive boyfriend who lent his girlfriend money so she could fly across the country to attend the funeral of her grandfather - then charged her interest.

And how about the guy who showed up for the first date with only a dollar in his pocket - and asked if his date had any money.

These tales from the dating front lines, as told by women, are detailed in "You Know He's a Keeper, You Know He's a Loser: Happy Endings and Horror Stories from Real-Life Relationships" by Linda Lee Small and Norine Dworkin.(Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.)

The book underscores the axiom known to all who are engaged in the mating dance: You don't know how weird someone is until you date him (or her).

The book focuses on the stories of women because, well, females talk about these things, Dworkin says. Male friends have asked her why she hasn't written about the sometimes clueless and strange behaviors of women. "Everyone we have talked to in the business says guys don't buy these books," the author explains.

The book isn't about bashing men, though Dworkin concedes it was easier to find "loser" tales than "keeper" anecdotes. Actually, it's a lighthearted look at relationships that provides tips, gleaned through anecdotes from women around the country, for helping sort out the good from the bad and the ugly.


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"I'm sure guys are hungry for this information," she says. "Guys say they aren't sure what women want. Well, here you have close to 200 women basically laying out the qualities that make for a keeper guy and a loser guy."

The writers interviewed strangers, friends and friends of friends of friends.

"I got a lot of my girlfriends to throw mini cocktail parties and brunches," Dworkin says. "We just got the girls talking. The women would just go on and on and on."

The writer was surprised that not one person said she looked for wealth in a man.

"Money was never mentioned by women regarding what makes a guy a keeper," she says. "No one said, `My guy is a keeper because he's loaded.'''

In fact, women look for a different kind of generosity.

"One woman told us the story about her husband," Dworkin says. "He's a car aficionado. He dotes on every car. He names them, polishes them. They are like children to him. But she always gets into an accident with his car. And he never gets upset. He always says, `Are you OK? We can fix the car.'''

Conversely, the men who quickly end up in the loser column display a "stinginess of personality," she says. "It's this feeling that you don't matter."

One woman recalled a ski trip date. She had explained she wasn't a very good skier and didn't want to go down a challenging run. He promised he'd help her, then abandoned her. Another woman dished about a similar situation. But her man carried her down the mountain - on his back.

The book, Dworkin says, is also a reminder to women like herself. She just got engaged.

"Having dated all these losers, once you find your gem, you really appreciate him."

___

Expect happy endings with this Romeo

What makes him a keeper:

He takes an interest in something solely because it interests his woman.

He's generous with his time and affection. Taking care of his sweetie when she's sick rates high.

Does the little things that make her feel special, such as buying her_unbidden_a telephone headset so she doesn't have to cradle the phone all the time and get a sore neck.

Even letting her pick the snacks at a movie shows a generosity of spirit and emotions.

He doesn't have to throw his money around but shows a willingness to pay for the meal.

Source: Norine Dworkin, co-author of "You Know He's a Keeper, You Know He's a Loser: Happy Endings and Horror Stories from Real-Life Relationships"

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© 2004, San Jose Mercury News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.