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Jewish World Review Feb. 2, 2004 / 10 Shevat, 5764 Groundhogs and human rodents By Jeff Dunetz Why should Punxsutawney Phil get all of the attention? http://www.jewishworldreview.com | It happens every year in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. On February 2, members of the Groundhog Club adorned with top hats and tails, surround the home of Punxsutawney Phil one of the most famous rodents of the world. More than just a tourist attraction, there are people that really do believe if Phil the groundhog sees his shadow we will suffer though six more weeks of winter. Phil is just one example. All across the world there are ceremonies just like the one in Punxsutawney — ceremonies, where people trust animal behavior to indicate the future. Move over, Phil! You've spawned a lot of imitators There is the one that takes place in Ramallah on the West Bank. The Ramallah rodent is named Palestinian Yassir. Around since 1959, every few months Yassir pokes his head out of his hole and if he sees a peace plan, we have six more months of terror. Yassir is not a groundhog, he is a moneyhog. In-between his popping his head out of the hole, he plans new ways to kill civilians, Arab and Israeli, all to keep his friends from finding out that he is stealing their money. Yassir the Moneyhog is worshiped in Europe, because his primary role is killing Jews. To help him with his cause they give him money to help feed other Palestinians, but he keeps most of the money for himself. That's why he is afraid of peace, why every time he sees peace in the distant horizon he invents new ways for the Palestinian people to kill themselves and Israeli civilians, so in the confusions they don't realize that it is him, good ol' Mr. Moneyhog, is causing a lot of their pain. According to Salam Fayyad, a former World Bank official who Arafat was forced to appoint finance minister last year after crowds began protesting his corrupt regime , "There is corruption out there. There is abuse." Recently CBS News reported that Yassir the Moneyhog had amassed "somewhere between 1 and 3 billion dollars." Yasser's biggest scare came just a few years ago: During the Oslo process things got so close to peace, he had to unleash a huge wave of terror so that his friends would not find out about the billions of dollars hidden in Swiss bank accounts. Another ceremony that uses a rodent as a seer is the one in France .The animal in this one has had many names. The latest is Judenphobe Jacques. If Jacques poke his head out of his hole and sees Jewish people living in peace, we will have six more years of horrible anti-Semitism. This tradition has been around for thousands of years. The first practitioner was a Pharaoh of ancient Egypt. But after a two hundred year run there was a series of 10 very unusual occurrences, that diverted his attention. One of Judenphobe's favorite activities is to glorify terrorists. It all harkens back to the tradition of Pharaoh — except instead of throwing the Jewish babies into the Nile, Judenphobe helps Palestinian Yassir blow up Jewish children. The Judenphobe tradition is entrenched in Europe and the Arab counties and it is growing more popular everyday. The UN has Judenphobe parties — they throw them in the General Assembly Chamber, adorned with signs such as, "Protect Palestinian babies not the Jews" and the favorite of Ireland, "Anti-Semitism is NOT religious intolerance." During the UN Party, all the delegates gather around a small hole and out pops Kantseenuthing Koffi. If Koffi sees Jews dying he goes back into his hole and closes his eyes. The only think that brings him back out is when Jews try to defend themselves. When that happens we have six days of anti-Israel speeches. There are so many other events that people don't know about, there is Mousears Michael who is so afraid of being recognized as Jewish, he pokes his head up from a tree atop of a castle and if he sees a Jewish shadow he runs from his background and we have 6 more months of ABC News' anti-Israel Bias. One of the newest prognosticators is known as Passiveagressive Powell. Passiveagressive he helps predict US Foreign policy. Passiveagressive Powell has been known to trade Israeli lives for Arab oil. Every time Israel ties to defend herself he pokes his head up from the fence between US and Mexico (that's a good wall) and if he needs something from the Arab world we get six days of condemnation. When you watch the news over the next few days you will see lots of stories about Punxsutawney Phil. What you won't see are the names and the faces of the people killed and maimed in homicide bombings in Israel — TV news doesn't want you to see them, it may give you sympathy for the terror victims instead of the terrorists. So when you are watching the news and you see another story about Groundhog day please remember, the tragic victims of senseless murder that were blown up in Israel this week, and the rats all across the world who give aid and support to the murderers. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Jeff Dunetz is a 20-year marketing veteran, and a freelance writer. He is married and the father of two kids who ask lots of questions about being Jewish that he can't answer. Jeff has been active in Jewish organizations since his USY days. Presently he is a Member of the Board of Trustees of the Dix Hills (Long Island) Jewish Center. He reads and responds to all of his mail, so comment by here. The Davinsky Code The Secaucus Peace Plan: Making Peace ... the Colin Powell Way What type of world will my children live in? High Holiday Prayers --- for my enemies: 'Getting even' with the evil ones the Jewish way © 2004, Jeff Dunetz