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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Feb. 13, 2004 /21Shevat, 5764

Destiny: A Chassidic love story

By Binyamin L. Jolkovsky

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A true tale of selflessness — and faith


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | The match was perfect.


A promising rabbinical student became engaged to an idealistic young lady who was about to graduate a teacher's seminary. A wedding date was picked, a reception hall was reserved — and then tragedy struck.


The groom began to be afflicted with pains. At first, they were dismissed as "jitters". But when they continued and, in fact, became more intense, his doctor ordered a full battery of tests. The results eventually revealed that the young man had a life-threatening disease. Worse, even if he were to undergo painful and long-term treatments, there was no guarantee he would live.


"I need to break the engagement," he told his fiancé. "It would be selfish of me to ask you to face an uncertain future. There is no need for both of us to suffer. You are healthy. Please, PLEASE do yourself a favor — don't do this to yourself."


But the bride would not hear of it.


"Why should I suffer? No, why should I be the one to cause suffering? How can I break our shidduch [match]? That will cause you much more suffering than you are already enduring. I want to give you happiness," she responded, adding: "If we were still dating and we found out this news, of course I would not proceed. But it was, obviously, decreed from Heaven that we should meet and decide to marry … well, I don't want to break it off. I want to accept my groom as he is and build a home with you. No matter what!" She repeated the last sentence. "No matter what!"


While both sets of parents admired the couple's altruism, and were astonished at their respective children's selflessness, neither were certain that their child was acting properly. Together, they sought the counsel of a revered sage, Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky of Bnei Brak, Israel, where the incident occurred.


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After the prospective in-laws detailed the situation, Rabbi Kanievsky thought for a few minutes and said he agreed with the young couple. "Let them get married!," he proclaimed. "This is their proper shidduch!"


The relieved parents thanked the sage profusely and left.


But extended family on both sides wondered about the rational behind the sage's decision. They went so far as to approach a member of Rabbi Kanievsky's household and, ever so tactfully, asked if he could explain his reasoning.


The sage, who is known for his encyclopedic knowledge and penetrating analysis, requested that he be brought a copy of the Hebrew-language work, Midrash Rabbah. He began to read aloud from the Matnos Kehunah commentary to the Torah portion of Noah. The passage dealt with a sudden visit of Alexander of Macedonia to the king of Katzia, who enjoyed a reputation as a fair dispenser of justice.


Alexander, who came to witness the king in action, watched a case that was unfolding.


A man sold below market value an empty lot covered with ruins. While cleaning the property, the new owner discovered a treasure trove of coins and pearls. He immediately went to return the valuables. He felt he was not entiltled to them. There was, after all, no way the seller would have sold the land at the price he did if it was known that the stash was there.


But when informed of the discovery, the original owner congratulated his associate, saying: "A sale is a sale" and refused to take the loot back.


The king of Katzia asked Alexander how he would rule in such a case. Alexander, records the holy book, answered haughtily: "I would kill both the seller and buyer, and take the treasure for myself."


The king of Katzia ruled differently. He asked one of the men, "Do you have a son?"


"Yes," came the reply


He then turned to the other man, "Do you have a daughter?"


"Yes," was his answer.


"So the solution is simple. Let them marry each other and give the treasure to the young couple."


Rabbi Kanievsky closed the tome and placed it on his desk.


"When I heard the altruistic claims of the groom and the bride — who thought only of the other's needs — I sought an example of similar behavior in our heritage," he began to explain. "Then I remembered this midrash and thought: 'What's the purpose of this case being recorded posterity? What lesson are the sages trying to teach us?'


"And do you know what that lesson is? It wasn't just a clever solution to evade the problem and leave the treasure in the hands of both of the litigants. It was something profoundly deeper.


"If the only problem was the treasure, this is no reason to marry. But the Sages were instructing us that the king of Katzia had an important and correct basis for his decision: When two sides think only of the other, and not themselves, it is proper to make a match between such people.


"Even though he only had just met the plaintiff and defendant, the king of Katzia immediately realized that the match between two such families was suitable. He assumed that if the fathers were so untainted of selfish thought, the children had likely absorbed to some degree similar qualities from them and were worthy partners for each other." Rabbi Kanievsky concluded: "Since here we see this wonderful trait in the groom and bride themselves, it certainly is a proper, fitting match."


Despite not being previously acquainted with the families, Rabbi Kanievsky took time out of his hectic schedule to attend the wedding. He joined in the celebration, blessing the couple. Presently, reports Yated Ne'eman, the groom is undergoing difficult treatments, and many are praying for his complete recovery.

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Binyamin L. Jolkovsky is editor in chief of JewishWorldReview.com Comment by clicking here.

© 2004, JWR