Jewish World Review Jan 13, 2012/ 18 Teves, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Obama reportedly agreed to give his acceptance speech at the Democratic Convention in Charlotte at Bank of America Stadium. It's sure put the convention over budget. When you're sixteen trillion dollars overdrawn Bank of America's fees really add up.
Tim Tebow posed for print ads for Jockey's Stay Cool briefs Tuesday just days before Sunday's New England game. The scouts were watching every move. Tom Brady's never played against an underwear model but he married one and got another one pregnant.
The CIA is probing to see who leaked footage of the Osama bin Laden kill to a movie studio. They all have a copy. In the Christmas releases alone, Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis and Margaret Thatcher receive huge cheers when they shoot Osama bin Laden in the face.
The U.S. denied any involvement in the assassination of an Iranian nuclear scientist on the streets of Teheran with a motorcycle and a magnet bomb Wednesday. It was probably the Israelis, anyway. The U.S. would have sent a drone with our license plate on it.
Rick Perry called Mitt Romney a vulture capitalist Tuesday and broke the unspoken GOP rule that Republicans must never incite class envy. Unspoken party rules are the most sacred. Bill Clinton tripled the stock market and Democrats never forgave him for it.
Michelle Obama went on CBS news to refute tales told about her in the new book, The Obamas. She's angry that the book depicts her as angry. She said she doesn't interfere with West Wing meetings, hardly any European resorts offer in-room teleconferencing.
The Consumer Electronics Show Las Vegas unveiled a new TV which lets you control it with your voice. The audio command feature is amazing. You can be watching a football game and if you scream an obscenity, the channel changes automatically to Jersey Shore.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton