Jewish World Review Jan 12, 2012/ 17 Teves, 5772
The News in Zingers
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Tim Tebow caused a record volume of Twitter tweets when he led Denver to victory Sunday. Twitter almost shut down. Nobody ever would have believed that millions of people would rush onto the Internet at the same time just to watch a guy be abstinent.
Fidel Castro wrote in his newspaper column Sunday that ninety percent of American would vote for a robot over President Obama. It's clear what he wants. Fidel Castro is calling for Al Gore to mount a primary challenge to President Obama before it's too late.
President Obama's re-election office in Chicago sent out more fundraising letters for the president's campaign this week. The money's not coming in so fast. With peanut butter selling for six dollars a jar, Obama only wishes he was doing as well as Jimmy Carter.
Newt Gingrich asked Tuesday if capitalism is about rich people being able to manipulate the lives of people and walk off with the money. Republicans are furious at him for this rhetoric. The RNC just ordered him to play from the ladies tees until he apologizes.
Mitt Romney's great-grandfather was revealed Sunday to have fled to Mexico. He was trying to avoid being prosecuted for polygamy. America would like to have just one president outside the Bush family that can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt he was born in America.
The Labor Department said Monday today's world economy requires the U.S. to have a mobile workforce. Last week a Florida teacher quit her job to become a stripper. In tough economic times, sometimes you have to resort to making five times as much money.
The Smithsonian gift shop began selling miniature sculptures of U.S. presidents which are made in China. The depictions show full respect. However, President Nixon never drove a tank over a pro-democracy protester, even though it captures the spirit of the man.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton