Jewish World Review Jan 6, 2012/ 11 Teves, 5772
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Mitt Romney's real first name is unknown to Americans according to a CBS news poll Tuesday. Six percent responded by saying Mittens and six percent responded correctly by saying Willard. The remaining eighty-eight percent responded by saying no comprende.
German citizen Harry Burkhart was arrested for setting all the car fires in driveways in L.A. between Christmas and New Year's Day. He set fifty-two arson fires across town. As long as the German is not breaking windows, Iran is still the number-one threat to Israel.
L.A. Galaxy's David Beckham opted to stay in L.A. and not play for a French team where he was traded. It was a no-brainer. David Beckham supports four kids in private school in L.A., which is a better deal than moving to Paris and supporting Italy, Portugal and Greece.
President Obama drew cheers from a gym full of Cleveland Democrats Wednesday in Ohio. He really missed the campaign trail the last four years. He thought he'd enjoy worship services every Sunday but then he realized that everyone is facing away from him.
Mitt Romney won in Iowa Tuesday even though seventy-five percent of Republicans oppose him. The opposition to Mitt Romney within the GOP is hardening. According to the label, if the condition lasts longer than four months they have to consult a physician.
Rick Santorum flew to New Hampshire Wednesday after his stunning showing in Iowa. He was so low in the polls until last week that nobody bothered to attack him. However, any day now his lifelong connection to Penn State will be placed under the glare of the shower head.
President Obama's web speech to Iowa Democrats Monday was marred by video and audio glitches. In addition there were no cheers, no clapping and no chants for him. After the speech he fired the video engineer and the audio engineer and the warm-up comedian.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton