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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan 25, 2012/ 1 Shevat, 5772

Newt Gingrich's first 100 days

By Jay Ambrose




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Join with me in an imagined future, one in which former House Speaker Newt Gingrich manages to grab the Republican nomination for president and then wins the presidency. It had helped that President Barack Obama had decided to wipe out all of America's 2 million miles of pipeline because of possible contamination of the moon.

"Here comes a transformational first hundred days, much of it patterned after my hero, Franklin D. Roosevelt," said Gingrich, a self-avowed, determined conservative who nevertheless goes orgiastic when thinking about the New Deal.

He went on to outline his own Phew Deal at an inauguration in which he had initially planned to reintroduce top hats. The idea was dropped when none could be found to fit his swollen head.

"Ah, how wonderful it is," he said in opening remarks at his first press conference the next day. He lost his composure, though, when a reporter asked why his whole White House staff had just resigned. Gingrich took a swing at him and missed, although he did land some verbal blows about liberal media always looking to embarrass conservatives not just with old news treated as new news, but sometimes with new news treated as new news.

The public loved it, inundating the White House with favorable emails. Some residents of South Carolina wrote that they were so enthused they had gone out and tried to vote for him for a third time, counting the primary, though the hated establishment made it perplexingly difficult.

"Here we are at Day Two, ready to keep on rolling," Gingrich said at his next press conference. He announced he was keeping up with the kind of history-writing he had once done for Freddie Mac, revealing after some original research then that Barney Frank had arrived in America on the Mayflower.

"I am producing an in-depth historical analysis of how health-insurance companies have served America spectacularly well over the years," he said. "I am getting no money for this, and the money some insurance companies are giving to my campaign for re-election is simply because they think I am brilliant. It is true that I have changed my mind and am back where I was for many years, favoring mandated health-insurance purchases, but the public knew about that."

First donning a football helmet with a facemask, a reporter asked whether this wouldn't be a conflict of interest, and Gingrich challenged her to a series of three-hour Lincoln-Douglas debates. He also winked at her and handed her a note.

"My goodness, Mr. President!" she said. "Aren't you married?"

On Day Three, Gingrich said he was closing down Bain Capital, the company Mitt Romney once worked for, on the grounds it was still making money. He said he figured on closing down still other private-equity companies rescuing businesses in trouble and giving high returns to union pension funds. It's not that he's against capitalism, he said. It's just that he was not about to put up with profits that benefited workers. Much could be saved through child labor, he explained.

On Day Four, he recalled how he had talked in a primary debate about ignoring court decisions he did not like, but that he was now going beyond that. He planned to dissolve the Supreme Court.

On Day Five, he sat on a park bench with Barbra Streisand, who sang, "All In Love Is Fair," as he announced a new cap-and-fade policy that would actually try to cap the sun intermittently. "It's a big idea," he said. "I am a big-idea man."

Each day of Gingrich's first 100 days was very much like that, and his administration might have made it a few days longer if Congress had not first decided that some of the money he received from insurance companies was ethically dubious.

He was impeached by the House and evicted by the Senate, Congress thereby going further than when he was once ruled guilty of ethics violations by the House. The only good news for him was that someone finally found a top hat that would fit.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Jay Ambrose, formerly Washington director of editorial policy for Scripps Howard newspapers and the editor of dailies in El Paso, Texas, and Denver, is a columnist living in Colorado.


Previously:


01/20/12: Obama's Keystone pipeline lies
01/18/12: Critics worse than urinating Marines
01/13/12: Ron Paul is a cartoonish character
01/11/12: Newt Gingrich upset by Mitt Romney's brilliance
01/09/12: How about regulating presidents, too?
01/04/12: How America smothers itself
12/30/11: A tax break that helps break the nation
12/28/11: Watch out for the banana peel, Newt
12/21/11: A tale of two men
12/16/11: Strange happenings in Russia
12/14/11: Tim Tebow is a man of character
12/09/11: A populist, envy-mongering fraud divisively exacerbating resentment among different groups of Americans
12/07/11: Tax games threaten nation
12/05/11: Why Wal-Mart serves us better than Barney Frank
11/30/11: Not writing off Newt
11/28/11: Answers to the Iranian threat
11/23/11: Failure of the incumbency investment
11/18/11: Occupiers: Chop off their heads!
11/16/11: Obama asks jobless to sacrifice
11/09/11: Michael Moore's insufferable occupation
11/04/11: Political tipping point is coming
11/02/11: Idealogues versus 7 billion
10/28/11: Obama games on student loans
10/26/11: Wit and quick moves v. humanity and thoroughgoing honesty? It's no contest —- or at least shouldn't be
10/07/11: Baptists, bootleggers and Wall Street protesters
10/05/11: Federal law will get you even if you watch out
09/28/11: Leftist bugbears on the march
09/23/11: Still hope for coal to help us
09/21/11: Obama's Madoff ploy
09/19/11: U.S. can't afford to wait until it happens
09/14/11: Defending -- and strengthening -- gung ho collectivism
09/12/11: A pipeline to better times
09/08/11: Obama just keeps destroying jobs
09/06/11: Ultra-feminists thwarting justice
08/31/11: Corporations are people? Yes, Count the ways
08/26/11: What an earthquake tells us about debt
08/25/11: The tyranny of scientific consensus
08/23/11: Fracking hardly a public health threat
08/17/11: Why Obamacare won't control births
08/15/11: Balanced budget amendment unbalanced idea
08/10/11: Kerry's war on citizen speech
08/05/11: Upside to the compromise leaving the door open for obnoxious maneuvers
08/03/11: The people who may save America
07/29/11: On making deals, Obama is no LBJ
07/27/11: The threat behind the debt
07/23/11: Mean opposition to means-testing
07/20/11: Leftist babble makes debt crisis even worse
07/18/11: Time to raise demagoguery ceiling
07/13/11: Obama treating treaties badly
07/08/11: Is decline of U.S. exaggerated?
07/05/11: Not math deficiency, but demagoguery



© 2011, SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE

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