Jewish World Review Jan. 28, 2011 / 23 Shevat, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Iran's government outlawed Valentine's Day last week and banned the exchanging of any Valentine's Day gifts. It really doesn't matter if President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad purchases a box of chocolates or a sexy negligee for his sweetie. Goats will eat anything.
Fox executives forecast the Green Bay-Pittsburgh Super Bowl could set a TV ratings record due to each team's fan base. Neither team has cheerleaders. Beautiful women in tight sweaters who cheer hard for one side or the other are all cable news anchors now.
The Weather Channel reported the Eastern seaboard got hit with a third snowstorm in three weeks Wednesday. Sub-zero temperatures extended from New England to the Midwest. President Obama declared Mission Accomplished on his plan to freeze spending.
President Obama proposed a five-year spending freeze Tuesday to help create U.S. jobs. He vowed to put people to work without spending any money to put people to work. Obama didn't explain how this is possible but he did just meet with the president of China.
Toyota recalled more hybrid cars Monday exactly a year after they had problems with the Prius. No one's surprised. President Obama must have known about the sticky accelerator and faulty brakes when he said that the clean energy revolution is unstoppable.
King Abdullah flew home to Saudi Arabia Tuesday after successful back surgery in New York's Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. He convalesced for two months in the Plaza Hotel. There's no limit to the quality of medical care you can get in America if you work hard, play by the rules, and strike oil.
The Illinois Supreme Court put Rahm Emanuel's name back on the Chicago mayor's race ballot Wednesday. It was unanimous. If a Chicago Democrat has the law on his side he argues the law; if he has the facts he argues the facts; if he has neither the law or the facts, it's really bad news for the judge's favorite racehorse and whoever has to wash the sheets.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton