Jewish World Review Jan. 19, 2011 / 14 Shevat, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama greeted Hu Jintao at the White House Wednesday and treated him to an official state dinner. The other state dinner he hosted was for India. We've re-adopted the centuries-old British custom of throwing one party a year for the help.
The U.S. government scuttled the virtual fence on the Mexican border Friday and plan to replace it with thermal imagining monitored by Homeland Security. It's just going to confuse them. They're going to think we're being invaded by the Blue Man Group.
Nevada led all states on a list published by banks Friday with the highest number of real estate foreclosures. It has spread to the hotel casinos. The Nevada economy is so bad that Treasure Island in Las Vegas is now being managed by Somali pirates.
President Obama supported Southern Sudan's secession from Sudan Sunday to form South Sudan. It reveals his ruthless side. Backing Southern Secession on Martin Luther King weekend shows the president will do whatever it takes to beat Sarah Palin.
The Pentagon issued a study saying it's time to let women serve in combat. They've completed their research. They threw a terrorist into a cage with Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar and Barbara Walters and witnessed three violations of the Geneva Convention.
The New York Mercantile Exchange saw oil near a hundred dollars a barrel Friday. Gas prices could be headed back up to four dollars per gallon once again. By the time summer vacation arrives it will be cheaper to mail your car to wherever you're going.
Tiger Mothers is a hot new book recommending that American mothers raise their kids like Chinese mothers, who require their children to make all A's and allow no play dates, no school plays, no TV and no video games. It's an outrage. Americans don't need the Chinese to tell us to work harder and have less fun, we have Obama for that.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton