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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 21, 2011 / 16 Shevat, 5771

Stars cross over wobbly zodiac signs

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Go figure, we lose a planet and gain a zodiac sign.

So our zodiac signs aren't what we thought they were. The earth's wobble means there is a thirteenth sign and that everyone's sign has to shift one spot to the left. It's like lining up for a Southwest flight -- everyone is sandwiched in line according to group and number ready to board, and then A13 shows up late.

If you were born between November 29 and December 17, you belong the new sign on the calendar called Ophiuchus. It sounds painful.

How many people are lying awake at night wondering how their lives might have been different if they had introduced themselves at a party years ago as a Capricorn instead of a Sagittarius. Thinking back, you realize it never did have the right ring. Too late now. You'll never know.

What all this also means is that the Age of Aquarius in the musical 'Hair" was really the "Age of Pisces." Would that have changed anything - other than losing two syllables and the rhythm to the song? Would the "Age of Pisces" have meant the cast would have put their clothes back on?

If Leo Tolstoy had been named after a zodiac sign his correct name would have been Cancer. "War and Peace" and "Anna Karenina" by Cancer Tolstoy. Who knows if his books would have done as well?

With the shift in signs, the Ford Taurus should now become the Ford Aires and the Isuzu Gemini should become the Isuzu Taurus. We'll let the unions work it out.

In the '80s and '90s, Ford made a European car named the Scorpio. It should have been a Libra. Libra isn't a very exciting name for a car, nothing at all like an arachnid with a venomous stinger. A Libra sound like a car that would never dream of going off road, runs on stale coffee and is overly polite at four-way stops.

I should know, I'm a Libra -- or was rather. I did enough reading as a teen to know that a Libra is actually divinely romantic. It gives you something to go on when you're 13 and without curves. And now it turns out I've been a Virgo all this time. I have gone from being romantic and "a diplomat prone to indecision" to being "sharp, organized and super critical."

Now instead of my horoscope (which I never read) saying, "You are likely to meet a stranger," it probably reads, "You are likely to meet a stranger and be highly critical of him."

The husband shifted over a sign as well. He became the old me, a Libra. Our signs were not compatible before we knew about the wobble and they are not compatible now. Thirty-two years of marriage and we still can't get the stars aligned.

There is one group that is not taking this news sitting down. They are the ones that had their zodiac sign tattooed on their, well, whatever.

They should have stuck with "Mom." She's good in any orbit.


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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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