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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 14, 2011 / 9 Shevat, 5771

The ins and outs of leaving home

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It probably won't be in Guinness, but we set a record last week. We pulled out of the driveway on our first trip out of the house.

We often back out of the garage and park in the driveway for a minute or two, maybe three or four, or sometimes even half a day, because one of us has forgotten something inside the house and needs to make a trip back in.

Coupons. The coffeemaker still turned on. The list.

On particularly bad days we have been known to make as many as four trips back inside. Each. We save those special occasions for pre-dawn trips out of town when the husband can also alert the neighbors to our ineptness by accidently setting off the car's panic alarm on the key fob.

One day we were both opening and shutting car doors, making numerous trips back inside for additional items that kept springing to mind and we passed each other in the front hall. We agreed if we each made another trip in, we would meet in the kitchen, because it then would be time for lunch.

We appear organized and we think we are organized, but we can never seem to leave home without at least one mad dash back inside.

Do you have the library books? No, I thought you had the library books.

Was the toilet still running? What? The toilet was running?

And so it goes — check the back door, retrieve a bottled water, sunglasses, a jacket, bills to drop off at the corner mailbox.

On occasion we rattle off a list of things each other might have forgotten. That may sound considerate, but often the tone is not so much helpful as it is intensely competitive.

Him: Reading glasses?

Me: Always. Cell phone?

Him: Absolutely. Umbrella?

Me: Of course. Bank deposit slip?

I can tell from his face that he has forgotten it and yell, "Gotcha!" instantly scoring 25 points and securing me a spot in the bonus round.

If there is an item we have both forgotten and it is of mutual benefit, the question is who has to go back inside. The rules of return are that if the driver has car keys in the ignition and the car is running, the return trip defaults to the passenger. If, however, the passenger is cradling a hot coffee, the rules for return are open to discussion.

Sure, we have had efficient days when it looks like we're making a clean break the first time out of the house, but then we reach the stop sign at the end of the block and nearly always discover we have forgotten something. People thought it was spectacular several seasons ago when Jack Bauer did a getaway chase in reverse on "24." Please. He learned it from us.

Sometimes we leave the neighborhood and get all the way to a nearby busy intersection before we realize what we have forgotten, necessitating another return home. On those occasions the husband will drive back home and back the car into the driveway, making it look like we are positioned for a speedy getaway.

Believe me, it will never happen.


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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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© 2009, Lori Borgman

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