Jewish World Review January 26, 2010 / 11 Shevat 5770
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The White House began leaking excerpts of Wednesday's State of the Union speech to Congress. The president begins the speech by saying the state of the union is strong. It's always best to start off with a joke that gets the crowd on your side.
Los Angeles residents were awed by a tornado which swept off the ocean last Tuesday and flooded the port city of San Pedro. Nobody had ever seen spinning funnel clouds over the West Coast. Teddy Kennedy was buried in Virginia so it couldn't have been him.
President Obama's daughters and Bo greeted White House visitors Wednesday. It was the day after Massachusetts. The president wanted child protective services and animal welfare to know that there'd been no casualties upstairs the night before.
Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad defied the U.S. demand to halt their nuclear program. He's a dead man walking. We now know if President Obama wants to get rid of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad he doesn't need to bomb him, he just needs to campaign for him.
President Obama proposed nationalizing the student loan program Thursday. He's always going for the history books. Under President Obama's leadership, America could be the first country in the history of the world to directly subsidize binge drinking.
Tiger Woods checked into a Mississippi sex rehab Monday where he's begun making amends. He gave three million dollars to Haiti. That's one million for earthquake victims and two million to blunt the criticism that none of his mistresses were black.
Tennessee former coach and USC's new coach Lane Kiffin was under investigation Thursday for drinking with female students last summer during a car wreck. He'll never get extradited to Knoxville. Los Angeles plans to trade him to France for Roman Polanski.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton