JWR Schticks and groans

In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review January 22, 2009 / 26 Teves 5769

Brother, can you spare a rhyme?

By Andrew Silow-Carroll

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A belated look at 2008 in verse

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | This year's like the joke: Two guys, each a Jew.
One says to the other, "How's things by you?"
His friend replies, trying to hold back a tear,
"Certainly better than they will be next year."

The stock market crashed, the economy's frozen,
A crooked investor took a bite from the Chosen.
Lenders got stingy, Detroit's in a crisis
Even Blagojevich had to lower his prices.

The race for the White House was laced with ill humor
As we choked on the bile of Internet rumor.
Obama's religion, his birthplace, his pastor —
Every new e-mail brought hints of disaster.

And who would decide the election's big winner?
Maybe Florida's Jews — over early-bird dinner?
Would Jews climb aboard McCain's Straight Talk Flotilla,
And sail on with him and the guv from Wasilla?

In Israel folks marked its 60th year
With more agita than unbridled cheer.
As more than the peace plan seemed to unravel:
Its prime minister feared the rap of a gavel,

While Hamas and Fatah, the bitterest of frenemies,
Could agree on just this: That Jews were their enemies.
Iran was Iran, up to things deleterious.
In need of a hug, Olmert said, "Let's get Syria's."

In Europe, meanwhile, we note with alack,
That "anti-Semitic" has become the new black.
Polls done in Britain, in France, and in Spain,
Suggested to many It Could Happen Again.

In an Iowa plant that was meant to be kosher,
Its managers' style just got gaucher and gaucher.
In a workforce of hundreds, it seems the majority
Had a beef with Rubashkin's hire authority.

The year brought B. Madoff, that number one shvantz. He
Concocted a scheme that was worthy of Ponzi.
He robbed from the rich, and made the rich poorer,
Reducing the mighty to the ranks of the shnorrer.

And speaking of Yiddish: Poor J.J. Putz.
The Mets' new reliever is gonna need guts.
When he blows a big game at some crucial junction,
The crowd's bound to blame projectile dysfunction.

But in times that are awful beyond our belief,
At least Mr. Putz brings some comic relief.
So did Sarah Silverman, a humorous lady
Who asked us to visit our Bubbe and Zayde,

And say that they had to vote for Obama —
A gambit that prompted its own bit of drama
From a miffed Jackie Mason, the comic, who sent a
Rebuttal on YouTube that called her a yenta.

No, two-thousand-and-eight wasn't all Sturm und Drang;
We shepped loads of naches as the year shlepped
Which we hope you'll remember as you gather with thine
And count all your blessings in two-thousand-and-nine.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and the media consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Andrew Silow-Carroll is the editor in chief of the New Jersey Jewish News. To comment, please click here.

© 2009, Andrew Silow-Carroll