Jewish World Review Jan. 22, 2009 / 26 Teves 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Barack Obama was sworn in as the president of the United States on the Capitol steps despite the cold. He said he wanted the ceremony outside no matter what the weather. He is not going to start his administration by betraying his people, smokers.
Barack Obama took office Tuesday amid a crashing stock market and two overseas wars. He's been saddled with unreasonably high expectations. Five years ago this man was an unknown Illinois lawmaker and today he's President Abraham Luther Roosevelt.
Barack Obama gave a somber Inaugural address Tuesday. The longer he talked, the lower the stock market fell. At the rate he's going he'll be giving his State of the Union address next month on the wing of a U.S. Airways jetliner in the Hudson River.
U.S. Airways sent five thousand dollar checks to each passenger aboard the airliner that landed safely on the Hudson River last week. Some people never learn. Half the people put the money right into the stock market and got killed in Tuesday's crash.
The Inaugural Parade down Pennsylvania Avenue featured plenty of men riding on horseback. What else could they do? The auto executives aren't allowed to fly in private jets and they're not about to get into those death-trap hybrids they built.
The Obama administration took over from the Bush administration on Tuesday in a huge transfer of power. The changeover was smooth. In every post office the FBI took the portraits of President Bush off the wall and put them on the bulletin boards.
Kellogg's recalled its peanut butter sandwich crackers Monday due to salmonella poisoning in the peanuts. It's no accident. Jimmy Carter is trying to poison the American people out of resentment that George W. Bush got two terms and he only got one.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2009, Argus Hamilton