Jewish World Review Jan. 16, 2009 / 20 Teves 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton was given her own private gym at his London residence Monday. She mustn't turn into a flamboyant media hog who upstages the prince. Nobody's going to buy that car-accident-in-the-tunnel story a second time.
Caroline Kennedy's favorability ratings among New York voters slipped Thursday as she lobbied to be appointed to the U.S. Senate. If she's appointed, she will be seated without question. It's not like in Illinois where you have to show the receipt.
The New York Health Department took measures Thursday to reduce the pigeons in Central Park. The birds are better liked than stockbrokers. The difference between a pigeon and a stockbroker is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a new Ferrari.
The National Parks Service estimated four million people will be in Washington for the Inauguration. It could get ugly. Between the Inauguration and the economy there could be four million people on the street without food or shelter or bathrooms.
Barack Obama selected Hollywood designer Michael Smith to redecorate the White House living quarters. He does movie star homes. His signature design touches include a reinforced shelf for awards, a wall for pictures, and a mirrored coffee table for the guests.
Barack Obama was reported Wednesday to be thinking about moving the Guantanamo prisoners to Camp Pendleton near San Diego. We know where this is headed. A year from now the vice president will be defending the practice of boogie-boarding during interrogations.
Alabama's NAACP objected to hoop-skirted girls representing Alabama Tuesday in the Inaugural parade because it symbolizes the plantation system. Too bad. According to the Fairness Doctrine you can't honor Lincoln without giving the other side equal time.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2009, Argus Hamilton