Jewish World Review Jan. 8, 2009 / 12 Teves 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
San Francisco was the site of protests on behalf of Palestinian terrorists Monday. It's no secret why the protests were in San Francisco. When Muslim fundamentalists seized power in Iran thirty years ago, the gay community beat the Shah's family to California.
CBS Sports NFL analyst Bill Cowher made it clear Sunday he won't return to NFL coaching next year. He says he likes the television lifestyle. Coaching in the NFL is nice, but when you have your own make-up artist you look ten years younger.
Charles Barkley was cited for drunk driving in Scottsdale Friday. He told cops he was in a hurry to meet a hooker. He's always said he wants to run for governor of Alabama someday and everyone figured he is just padding his resume to be a politician.
Illinois U.S. Senate appointee Roland Burris was barred from entering the Senate Tuesday, leaving the Senate all white. It didn't look good. No one's seen this many German shepherds on Capitol Hill since the morning after the World Trade Center attack.
NBC's Saturday Night Live alum Al Franken was declared the winner of the Senate race in Minnesota Monday pending appeal. The comedian can keep the job for six years and he doesn't have to get one laugh. It's the same deal the cast of Friends had.
Leon Panetta was nominated director of the Central Intelligence Agency Tuesday, arousing Senate opposition. He's not experienced in intelligence. He was appointed President Clinton's chief of staff because he was the only one old enough to get beer.
Toyota of Japan announced Monday it will shut down all its plants in Japan for two weeks. Toyota executives are very worried that their autoworkers will demand government intervention. They could kick themselves for inventing robots that can talk.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2009, Argus Hamilton