Jewish World Review Jan. 5, 2009 / 9 Teves 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Chrysler began running television commercials Tuesday which thanked American taxpayers for the billions in bailout money. Don't worry. Chrysler didn't spend any of your tax money on the TV ad campaign, they just ran the old one starring Lee Iacocca.
Barack Obama was chastised by evangelicals when he skipped church on Christmas Day. He was unable to reply. He was at a Honolulu cathedral posing for a ceiling all day and having to listen to the artist shouting at him to keep his finger pointed.
Barack Obama told CBS's 60 Minutes that he fully expects to be criticized by the media when things go wrong during his presidency. No administration was ever perfect. It didn't take long for comedians to figure out that President Bush had no control over his generals and that President Clinton had no control over his privates.
Barack Obama hid on a golf course Tuesday and avoided questions about support for Israel in the Gaza war. He's being advised by Hillary. She's a loyal friend of Israel, despite her agreement in principle with the Arab custom of stoning adulterers.
Iran's Ayatollah Khameni promised a martyr's entrance to heaven for any Muslim killed fighting Israel in Gaza. He said martyrs are greeted by seventy-two virgins in heaven. That's what you have to do to recruit an army when the GI Bill isn't enough.
Major League Baseball Network debuted Thursday by airing NBC's broadcast of Don Larsen's World Series perfect game fifty-two years ago. They included the original TV commercials, which was a great idea. Encouraging smoking could save Social Security.
The Dallas Cowboys collapsed in an embarrassing loss to Philadelphia on Sunday, prompting loud calls for Wade Phillips to be fired as head coach. It doesn't look good. Even Caroline Kennedy doesn't think Wade Phillips is qualified for the job.
Caroline Kennedy ran into opposition to her Senate bid from New York Democrats Sunday. They say she's uninspiring, inarticulate and unfamiliar with issues. The only thing that's saving her political career is that Tina Fey looks nothing like her.
The British Embassy in Tehran was seized Monday by angry Iranian students who raised the Palestinian flag on the roof. This is just how the Carter presidency ended. We simply have to make up our minds, is it the Thirties or is it the Seventies?
Marley and Me starring Owen Wilson is a hit dog movie which leaves kids crying at the end. It's a bad year for kids. Parents are dragging them to a movie where the dog dies just to take their minds off the fact that they have lost their college fund.
Tom Cruise received rave reviews in Germany Thursday for his portrayal of Nazi war hero Claus von Stauffenberg, who tried to kill Hitler. The German critics were all prepared to hate his performance until he showed up onscreen. He had them at Heil.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2009, Argus Hamilton