Jewish World Review January 3, 2008 / 25 Teves, 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Rose Parade was held in downtown Pasadena on New Year's Day with over a million parade watchers in attendance. Some things never change. The float that got the biggest cheer was an over-inflated appraisal followed by a no-money-down loan.
The New York Giants hired a repair crew Tuesday to get their press box escalator repaired. It malfunctioned after their last game. The escalator stopped running with Terry Bradshaw on it, stranding him and causing him to miss his flight home to Dallas.
The New York Jets said Monday they will sell beer again next year after Sunday's one-day ban. Drunken fans were encouraging women to strip. You knew if those old stadiums didn't get rid of those poles that someone would find a way to make some money off them.
Ralph Nader endorsed John Edwards for president Monday, citing the candidate's labor backing. He became famous as a crusader for auto safety. Ralph Nader was the only one to blame Benazir Bhutto's death on the fact that she was not wearing a helmet.
Mike Huckabee flew to Hollywood from Iowa Wednesday to make a guest appearance on the Tonight Show starring Jay Leno. No one in the crowd will know who he is. At least half of Los Angeles thinks the Iowa caucus is some form of strep throat.
The Iowa caucuses will be held tonight after a year of nonstop campaigning by the presidential candidates. Many Iowans are sad to see this circus end. After the candidates leave, the farmers will have to go back to fertilizing the crops themselves.
Iranian scientists announced on Tuesday that their nation's first cloned sheep is now fifteen months old and doing well. The sheep is just a test project of the Iranian government. The big research money is going into making Iraq a clone of Iran.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton