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Jewish World Review
January 16, 2008
/ 23 Shevat 5768
Bill Clinton Acting ‘Like a Madman,’ Says Kim Jong-Il
By
Andy Borowitz
North Korean Leader Urges Former Prez to 'Dial it Down'
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Former President Bill Clinton is behaving "like a madman" as he campaigns for his
wife, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY), and needs to get control over his erratic
outbursts, North Korean President Kim Jong-Il said today.
While the reclusive Mr. Kim rarely comments on U.S. politics, the North Korean
president said that he felt "compelled" to speak out because Mr. Clinton's behavior
on the campaign trail "had gone too far."
"When I see him popping off like that, I wonder if he knows that he looks like a
lunatic," Mr. Kim told reporters in Pyongyang. "I really think the guy needs to
dial it down a little."
As a head of state, Mr. Kim said that "it gives him the willies" when he sees other
world leaders behaving in a seemingly unhinged manner: "I wouldn't want people who
see Bill Clinton losing it conclude that we're all a bunch of whackjobs."
Mr. Kim's words found support from another head of state, President Hugo Chavez of
Venezuela, who said that he, too, was "troubled" by the former U.S. president's
"kooky rants."
"I would strongly advise Bill Clinton that before he opens his mouth, count to ten
first." Mr. Chavez said.
But perhaps the most somber assessment of the former president came today from
British singer Amy Winehouse, who called Mr. Clinton's antics "a desperate cry for
help."
"Bill Clinton needs an intervention," Ms. Winehouse said. "I hope it's not too late."
Elsewhere, Iran called its recent encounter with American warships an "accident," blaming the entire episode on Mapquest.
Andy's Archives
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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville.
© 2007, Andy Borowitz
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