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February 13, 2012
Binyamin Rose: Back to the Bunker: How a life-risking act by a Christian family during the Holocaust saved a family and built a thriving community a world away
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David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
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Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Jan. 18, 2007
/ 28 Teves, 5767
A Brief History of the Civil Bore: No need to resort to violence against The Man when you can talk him to death
By
Gene Weingarten
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
As a child of the '60s, I remain a big fan of the "demonstration." You know what I mean: the grand, principled act of defiance doomed to spectacular but noble failure. My generation was weaned on these things. It's all about earnestly protesting injustice while making things worse. By God, we closed down Chicago! Which got Nixon elected!
Sure, we are older and softer now. But the urge to perpetrate a futile, suicidal act remains in our gut, under the fat rolls. It doesn't take much of an affront to trigger that urge, though nowadays the affront is less likely to be about a threat to democracy than about a threat to, like, our lawn. Or, to the case in point, our parking privileges.
In my neighborhood in downtown Washington just a block or two from a Metro stop many people own cars and park them on the streets, but drive them only on weekends. Unfortunately, every once in a while the city schedules street maintenance, requiring a specific thoroughfare to be cleared of cars. The city informs the residents of this by putting out signs near the parked cars on a Tuesday, ordering all vehicles to be gone by Thursday. But since we do not visit our cars during the workweek, we do not see the signs. So, inevitably, on the day of the scheduled maintenance, there are many cars still left on the street. They are towed.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking: "That's so unfair! It's time to shackle yourself to a fire hydrant for a month and urinate into Coke cans!"
Relax. The city is not without a heart. In such a case, the cops do not tow your car to an impound lot, where you'd have to ransom it from guys with more tattoos than teeth. They merely tow your car to a vacant spot on an adjoining street.
So, really, it is not that big a deal, except for the disconsolate reconnaissance-trudge around the neighborhood to find your car.
When this happened to me last month, however, there was a new wrinkle: The cops had towed my car to an illegal parking spot, where, the next day, it received a $50 ticket. NOW was the time for the shackles and Coke cans.
Sure, I could have paid the ticket, but that would have been Buckling Under to The Man. I decided instead on a two-tier approach. Tier One was to dither around for weeks until the fine doubled, thereby raising the stakes in an exciting fashion. Tier Two was to take a day off from work and go to D.C. traffic court to protest.
The first case that was called involved a guy who wore a sweatshirt that said "Gallaudet" on the front. On the back, across the shoulders, it said "Harvard." I had never seen a double-college sweatshirt before. It seemed to make no sense, though it turned out there was a logical explanation. (See how smart you are. I'll give it up at the end of the column.)
Anyway, the hearing examiner seemed to be a reasonably lenient person. The young woman before me was challenging a ticket for an expired meter. She claimed she had put plenty of money in the meter, and her only explanation for her ticket was: "Maybe it didn't accept my change or sumpin'." She got a reduced fine.
You are thinking: "Hey! This seems like an okay judge! Possibly a simple, straightforward explanation will do the trick."
You idiot. Haven't you been reading this? "Doing the trick" is not the point. Winning was not nearly as important as Questioning Authority.
I informed the hearing examiner that although a strict reading of the law might imply my guilt, "I am going to argue for the triumph of reason and enlightenment over dogma. I contend that we must adhere to the Platonic ideal of pure justice, as opposed to the mindless and conscienceless imposition of the will of the state."
The hearing examiner began looking at her watch.
I narrated the circumstances of my ticket, emphasizing the terrible unfairness of it all.
"I have a meeting to attend," the hearing examiner said.
I continued: "Ours is a troubled world, plagued by the tyranny of fundamentalist thinking that allows no dissent and no appeal to reason. I'm not saying that if you rule against me, it is a victory for the terrorists, but . . ."
"Okay," she interrupted. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."
No, wait!
"Case dismissed."
But I had so many important points that had gone unsaid!
I won, but I lost. It was a paradox, just like the sweatshirt on that guy.
His name was Russell Harvard.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.
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