
 |
|
May 24, 2013
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
Jan. 17, 2007
/ 27 Teves, 5767
Sick of the waiting room
By
Celia Rivenbark
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
If you planned to leave town with kids over the holidays, there's about a 1 zillion percent chance that you've spent the hap-hap-happiest time of the year in the urgent-care outpost of a town you've never heard of.
I'd hoped to avoid this feverish truth, but using hand sanitizer on every surface along with random spritzing of total strangers in stores with Lysol hadn't helped. As we sat at the Doctor's Immediately Urgent Prime and Emergent Medicinal Care complex, I pondered the meaning of those hollow words, "urgent" and "immediate." I also comforted myself with the image of the "Silkwood"-style shower I would take the moment we got out of there.
After two and a half hours, most of us were still there. A few had announced that they'd had time to write their wills during the wait and had even asked the receptionist to be a witness.
I'd worked so hard not to be here with my daughter, who sat silent and beet-red, occasionally rousing long enough to mutter the word "brandy" over and over. In fact, she had awakened me the night before to simply say "Brandy" and I just thought she was having some weird dream about that skinny singer with the so-so pipes and snotty attitude. It's not like we have a house full of snifters and ascots for heaven's sake.
The germ-phobic in me briefly considered sending her in alone but I realized she'd never be able to fill out the forms in her fevered state, including the one that wanted to know if she, a FOURTH GRADER, was married.
"Should I fill this out?" I asked the receptionist from behind the turtleneck I had neurotically pulled up over my nose.
"Oh, no. You're special," she said. "The forms are for all the other people to fill out."
Oh, snap!
"Brandy" came a small voice from across the room.
I returned to the plastic seat that had been factory-molded to fit the arse of an anorexic chipmunk and dutifully filled out forms detailing my daughter's imaginary marriage and work history.
An hour later, the doctor was ready for us. I could've sworn he'd trick-or-treated at my door in a Power Rangers costume just a couple of months earlier. He stuck two cotton swabs into my daughter's precious nostrils for a flu test.
"Why'd he do that?" she asked groggily.
"I dunno, but in some countries, I think it means you're engaged."
The tiny doctor returned to say it wasn't flu but, "just, uh, some kind of, like, virus or somethin'."
"Righteous," I said. We left with a prescription for something that tasted exactly like - you guessed it brandy!
Out of the mouths of babes.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy
Kid bumper stickers sure not terrific
© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|