In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 25, 2007 / 6 Shevat, 5767

Proper spelling begins at home

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | My daughter just brought home a rather long-winded explanation of what is expected of fourth-graders on the upcoming big fancy standardized writing test.

I've read it, like, eight times and I still don't understand it, which means that either (A) I have the brains of sweater fuzz or (B) This thing really makes no sense.

On account of me being a perfessional writer-type person, I was eager to learn about the writing test but got stopped by the heading "Classroom Assessment Analytic Rubric."

I have no idea what a rubric is. Maybe it has something to do with a Rubric's cube, but then, what would an obscure toy from the 80s have to do with writing? It's all tres confusing.

The writing test is given to students in grades 4, 7 and 10, and parents are urged to work with teachers to make sure that students don't blow it by using sentence fragments, run-on sentences or other no-no's. Or is that no's-no?

This example of using a word the wrong way was included in the, er, rubric: "He wanted to sale the boat." Maybe that's wrong; maybe not. If this is a Southern student, he might not want to "sail" the boat as snooty test-writers assume. He might want to fix up that rusty-butt john boat behind Paw-Paw's shed and "sell" the boat. In the South, we pronounce that "sale" so there should be some geographical leeway, so to speak.

It's also important to use pronouns correctly. The example of using a pronoun incorrectly was: "John and myself went to school." They didn't give the reason for why this was wrong so I can only assume that if a fourth-grader ever said that sentence to another fourth-grader, he'd get the snot beat out of him for being uppity, the kind of kid who would brag about getting to sale his boat for big money.

Another frequent problem with student writing is "incorrect formulations" such as "hisself, theirselves and bestest." Well, that's just about the worstest idea I ever heard. I LOVE those words. Again, I sniff a geographical bias here. What right-thinking Southerner has never uttered the word "hisself" as in "John caught hisself on the barbed wire trying to get away from that bull"? There is simply no suitable substitute.

Because it wasn't listed, I'm hoping that the test will allow the use of another favorite Southernism: "theyselves", which, of course, is the pluperfect plural subjunctive of the verb "they." An example of correct usage would be: "They saw theyselves on `Cops' and weren't even embarrassed about it."

I'll help my daughter study for this test. Just remember: If she doesn't do well, it want my fault.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.

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