Jewish World Review Jan. 31, 2007 /12 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Peter O'Toole got an Academy Award nomination last week for his performance in Venus. The actor plays an aging star who has an affair with a teenage girl. It answers the question, what would Bill Clinton's role be in his wife's administration.
Albert Einstein's personal letters and post cards were released in book form Monday by Cal Tech and Princeton. That's where he taught. He decided to split the atom after he determined it's easier than separating college students from beer.
The Super Bowl was named a national security event Monday. It will guarded by three thousand civilian guards, Miami and state police, undercover cops and the military. No wonder tickets are so expensive, there are only six hundred seats left.
USA Today quoted civil rights leaders Monday saying Barack Obama is too white to connect with black voters. He was raised by his white mother in Hawaii. Last week he wired Prince Charles at Sandringham Castle to wish him a happy King Holiday.
Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling said Tuesday he won't run against John Kerry for U.S. Senate. It was a humanitarian gesture. John Kerry might jump off a bridge if he lost two straight elections to knuckleheads from the world of baseball.
Hillary Clinton enjoyed friendly audiences in Iowa last weekend. Everyone in the state is in a great mood. The price of corn is so high that if Hee Haw went back into production the budget would be double what it costs to produce 24.
Joe Biden will announce for president today following the entry by Mike Huckabee and Bill Richardson and Mitt Romney and Chris Dodd. The number keeps adding up. At the rate we're going, the election is going to be a three-hundred-million-way tie.
Bill Clinton will be in Williamsburg tomorrow to address House Democrats who are meeting there. It was on his itinerary anyway. Twice a year Hillary makes him go to Colonial Williamsburg just to remind him what happens to two-time adulterers.
Miami weighed a proposal Monday to throw a huge party in the Orange Bowl the day Fidel Castro dies. They will have to get in line. Two thousand years ago the Roman Senate voted to throw a huge party in the Colosseum the day Fidel Castro dies.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton