Jewish World Review Jan. 29, 2007 /10 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Terry Bradshaw wasn't killed in a car wreck as reported Friday on local news in Shreveport. He was incredibly relieved when he saw the story on television in Mexico, where he was vacationing. He thought heaven had margaritas and television.
Prince Charles arrived in Philadelphia Friday before flying to New York City to accept an award from the Harvard Medical School. It's for his work on the environment. Thanks to his divorce, there is one less gas-guzzling limo on the road.
Reggie Bush, according to federal agents, turned up in old taped conversations discussing gifts and cash with sports agents during his USC days. It's serious. If he turns out to be corrupt enough, he could get four to eight years as governor of Louisiana.
Steve Wynn sued Lloyd's of London Thursday to collect on the Picasso he ruined when he put his elbow through it while showing it to casino guests. He made his point. Ever since the incident, not one masterpiece has tried to walk out on its hotel bill.
Hillary Clinton flew to Iowa Friday to officially begin her campaign for the presidency. It's an uphill battle for her there. Pollsters say she needs to show she can be personable and accessible, not just easy to fool and too quick to forgive.
U.S. Senator Barack Obama will receive millions at a Hollywood fundraiser next month from the founders of Dreamworks Studios. Hillary Clinton doesn't mind the defections at all. Every time somebody cheats on her she winds up in a higher office.
Elizabeth Taylor endorsed Hillary Clinton for president Thursday. She's also endorsed Michael Jackson's innocence and she endorsed Liza Minnelli's marriage. This Christmas, Elizabeth Taylor is coming out with a new poison called Endorsement.
Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis on Monday hired young USC assistant coach Lane Kiffin to replace head coach Art Shell. A thirty-year-old will replace a sixty-year-old. Al Davis is just at that age where men always go for the trophy coach.
McDonald's stock rose Thursday on news it will open fast-food restaurants at gas stations in China. This will save lives. It was recently reported that sixty million people in China have become obese, so they need to lay off the Chinese food.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton