Jewish World Review Jan. 24, 2007 /5 Shevat, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Chicago Bears beat the New Orleans Saints Sunday in Chicago. When a blizzard hit the stadium in the second half, New Orleans ran off the field and waited for FEMA to rescue them. Four plays later, Rex Grossman led the Bears into the end zone.
The Lingerie Bowl in Los Angeles airs on pay-per-view during halftime of the Super Bowl. Supermodels play football in negligees. Before the game, Charlie Sheen will stand on the fifty-yard line in a Native American costume and do a rain dance.
Los Angeles police chief Bill Bratton was seated at the Golden Globes Monday with the cast of Weeds. All the actors were happy the cops were there. You can't imagine how often their cocaine gets ripped off while they're up accepting an award.
Hillary Clinton said Sunday she expects a spirited presidential race because there's a lot of talent running. She was visiting a Manhattan health care clinic. That's always her first stop in the morning the day after Bill comes to bed smiling.
Joe Biden said Sunday the U.S. shouldn't raise the defense budget just because China shot down an old satellite. We mustn't overreact. While it's true that China shot down an old satellite, what gets lost in the hubbub is that they were aiming at India.
California's Assembly prepared Monday to move the state's primary up to February. An early California primary has unique advantages. It gives each candidate the chance to spend all their money to finish third behind Gary Coleman and a porn star.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton